Phew, what a weird week! On Monday, I posted this bizarre movie trailer the director sent me, and the comments quickly got out of hand. I’d try to recap here, but that whole thread was way too far down the rabbit hole. Then I posted my usual Tuesday afternoon feature, This Week in Posters, and some guy named Mike Yevtuck showed up to challenge every Hells Angel to a fight. If you’re confused as to what my weekly feature on movie posters has to do with Hells Angels… well that makes two of us, pardner. Here’s just a small taste:
You USA hells angels are really Cowards ,
Only one Mike Yevtuck in ther world anyone can pay 40 -50 and see my phone number is 7326731269 and when I am in the USA I stay in the USA I live at 97 pacific Blvd. Cliffwood beach NJ07735. I have owed and built many houses but i am at 97 pacific .
Anyone can check myPOLICE record I only beat scumbag hells angel type sewage.
I don’t know any women that would go near hells angels I only date normal women that think Hells angels child porn is gross
I don’t know any women that want to be victims of the USA hells angels and I don;t know any women that would leave their children any where near a USA hells angels .
I think USA hells angels only date men so why are you freaks even talking about my women ?
I have no idea what’s going on there. Not even the slightest. Glad to have “Hells Angels child porn” as my newest Google keyword. But anyway, somewhere in the midst of all that internet weirdness, our regulars (and a few newbies!) managed to be their clever, funny selves. At the top, it was a good week for FemmeDrunk. The ladies were just head and shoulders above the rest this week (not to mention bewbs). Here’s Chino (yes, Chino is a girl) with the top vote getter:
[From Morning Links with Yoga Jesus] ChinoMoreno: Yoga Jesus was killed by Pontius Pilates.
I must admit, I’d been trying to come up with a “Pontius Pilates” joke for like three years now, and I totally whiffed that opportunity. In other news, the Project X kid was in a Bang Bus movie (in which they dip french fries in jizz), and Chino and Michelle07 double-scissored that one:
ChinoMoreno : Fast food porn stars get Five Guys in ‘em.
elle07 : Sounds like she could use a trip to the mayo clinic.
ChinoMoreno : She got the cumbo meal.
elle07: Fast food porn stars come in a degradable box.
ChinoMoreno : Cums with fries, but you can substitute with a tossed salad.
Oh, ladies, will you Mormon marry me? I think it’s a dead heat between “Pontius Pilates” and “Degradable Box,” but I’m pretty sure they both already have FilmDrunk shirts (BUY YOURS TODAY!) anyway. Nice going, ladies.
A close second, Stallonewolf in Rihanna gets her own Battleship poster:
Stallonewolf: Let the bodies hit D-4.
You… LOL’d my battleship? Nope. Nevermind.
This next comment from the first 10 minutes of The FP post would take too long to explain, but it was definitely funny:
Farthammer:
So I said to the waiter, “taste the pussy soup.”
He said “is it hot?”
I said “just taste the pussy soup.”
He said “is it cold?”
I said “just taste the damn pussy soup!”
He said “ok, where’s the poon?”
A-ha! Ahhh-Hahhhh!
Meanwhile, PhysicsforPoets should be writing the taglines for That’s My Boy:
Physicsforpoets:
ANDY SAMBERG!
ADAM SANDLER!
SANDY AMBERG!
ANGIE SANDERS!
AMBLY ANDBERG!
BERGLY SANDERS!
SANDY SANDBIRDS!
COLONEL SANDERS!
SAL AMANDERS!
And finally, from LEGO may have spoiled the Avengers villains:
Ace Rimmer: “‘Hey, did you see this, did you hear about this? It turns out the villains in the new Marvel movie will be LEGO. I guess that makes Avengers a blockbuster. No, but seriously: It’s a fractious alliance, so let’s hope they don’t fall to pieces.’ – Jay Lego”
Beautiful. Even when it’s full of angry Hells Angel haters and nutty filmmakers, you’re still the most entertaining damned comments section on the internet. (NEVER STOP, I DESPERATELY NEED TO FEEL VALIDATED!) And as always, nominate your favorite comments throughout the week by copy and pasting below.