This story about “the world’s first 3D porn” was going around yesterday, but at first I didn’t read it because I was too offended that someone would call this “the world’s first 3D” porn when I’ve already written about 3D porno on at least three separate occasions. The rule of the internet is that if you can think of it, there’s a 95% chance someone has already made porn out of it. Nonetheless, I don’t blame anyone for thinking Asians were the first to think of something porn related.
Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy will open in Hong Kong and Taiwan next week. The film is also a reworking of an earlier Chinese movie, 1991’s Sex and Zen. The £2m Cantonese language film is an ornate fantasy with high production values, set at the kinky court of Ming dynasty ancient China. It is ostensibly based on the classic Chinese erotic text, The Carnal Prayer Mat, and follows a young man as he befriends a duke and enters a world of royal orgies and other sexual peccadilloes.
THAT’S MY FAVORITE KIND OF PECCADILLO!
Writer and producer Stephen Shiu told local media the film would feature some “very graphic sex scenes”. He added: “It will leave audiences feeling like they are sitting right there at the edge of the bed.”
Sex and Zen‘s content means it is unlikely to be screened uncut in mainland China, though there are reports of tour groups planning trips to Hong Kong and Taiwan so that people may see it. [Guardian]
Veterans of the adult film industry like myself hate having to read articles about porn in the mainstream press, because it’s like they don’t even know the language. For instance, what does “very graphic sex scene” mean? Is it hardcore? Because that means, as Ali G put it, that you see “dongs going in.” Everything else is just softcore. Except for those hotel room edits where they cut out the money shot, but that’s another story. Anyway, AVN actually knows porn, and on the subject of what actually was the first 3D porn, they write:
Dominic Ford’s Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls, a XXX gay parody of the mainstream movie, debuted in March 2010, and on the straight side, New Sensation’s Octopussy 3-D: A XXX Parody was released in April 2010.
In any case, as far as I’m concerned, the kinkiest part of this story was the part where Chinese people would pack into a tour bus and travel for hours to go jerk off in a crowded room full of people with goggles on. I like to imagine that a few of them were senior citizens wearing those big, square old-people sunglasses. Though I guess you could call the goggles kinky AND functional, considering the possibility for friendly fire and whatnot. They think of everything over there.
