Now that she has recklessly maneuvered her way through reality television and pornography, only to stand before us claiming that she never wanted this life that she’s built before our very eyes, Farrah Abraham has finally delivered the greatest achievement of her career. Not only has she jumped head first into the shallow end of pop music like reality TV pioneers Heidi Montag, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian before her, but Abraham has managed to give us a dance track that is so laughably horrendous and awful that I can only pray that someone steps forward and claims it as a joke.
First and foremost, the song is entitled, “BLOWIN” as if we weren’t already being challenged to come up with every joke imaginable about Abraham’s faux-celebrity. But forget the title. Forget everything you know about pop music leading up to this moment. The video that you’re about to watch – should you even be able to muster the courage and testicular fortitude to watch for more than 10 seconds – is going to blow your mind. If someone made this video as a joke, it might be the funniest joke ever told. But if this video was made with all sincerity, in order to attempt to turn this young woman into an actual pop star, then it is definitely the funniest joke ever told.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “BLOWIN,” the worst song that you will hear this month, possibly this year and maybe even in your life.
To be honest, I could barely understand a word in this entire video, so here are the lyrics for you to read in case you haven’t already died from laughter.
Let me get that air
That breeze
The wind I need ,
Im blowin (I’m blowin)
All these bullies awayLet me get that air
That breeze
The wind I need ,
Im blowin (I’m blowin)
All these bullies awayCeleburty -Celeburty -Celeburty
Being yourself is makin you famousLive and learn
Be better then normal
Make those mistakes
Your blowin ( your blowin) all their minds away
(Appearance, Sexuality, Ability)Casted out
Now your standin out
Like a star
Be true to you
Topin all the chartsLet me get that air
That breeze
The wind I need ,
Im blowin (I’m blowin)
All these bullies away (REPEAT!)CelebURty -CelebURty –CelebURty
CelebURty -CelebURty -CelebURtyBeing yourself is makin you famous
All these ups
And downs
With the best
Support around
(Following, Friend requestin, Fan pages)
Bein a star
Is better then
Not knowin (not knowin)
Who your are
Let the hate stack up
Positivity push through
Being you (Bein You)
Take your time,
(Have the last laugh)
It’s your time
Being ourselves made us famous
Let me get that air
That breeze
The wind I need,
I’m blowin (I’m blowin)
All these bullies away (REPEAT!)
Let me get that air
That breeze
The wind I need,
I’m blowin (I’m blowin)
All these bullies away
CelebURty -CelebURty –CelebURty
Let me get that air
That breeze
The wind I need,
I’m blowin (I’m blowin)
All these bullies away
CelebURty -CelebURty –CelebURty
Being ourselves made us famous