There’s been a rumor in my quaint little Hamlet of Orlando, Florida for several years that there would someday be a Lord of the Rings attraction at one of our two major theme parks – Walt Disney World or Universal Studios Florida. Now, I had held out hope that it would be a part of Legoland, but it turns out that you can’t even get into Legoland if you don’t have a kid with you. What the f*ck is that noise? A bro can’t like Legos? But I digress.
This rumor has appeared once again, like a big ol’ eye of Sauron, notably at a site known as MiceChat, which is run by Dusty Sage, who claims to be a “consumer advocate for theme park travelers”. Last night, Sage wrote the following:
Big news in the theme park world. Universal is in talks to bring Lord of the Rings lands and rides to a theme park near you. Hot on the success of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Universal isn’t about to let Disney take a counter punch with Avatar or Star Wars without a major blow of its own. There are exciting times ahead for theme park fans.
There is no source to this claim, nor is there any information that divulges when or where this could happen. Alas, that hasn’t stopped message board threads (like this one) from picking the meat from the bones of this idea like giant Fellbeasts.
Treat this all as speculation, but the idea of Lord of the Rings coming to a Universal theme park has been around for two or three years, with one of the earliest “sources” being found at, well, MiceChat in 2010. But it is true that Universal Studios Florida blew the f-bomb up in ticket sales thanks to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, so obviously that could breathe some life back into this old rumor.
However, what people can’t seem to agree on is where this attraction would go, because Universal doesn’t have much land available and has to kill old rides in order to create new rides. What could happen is that with Disney eventually building a Marvel universe at its parks, Universal could just scrap its Marvel Super Hero Island.
That would free up the space for some LOTR rides and – bingo Bilbo – you’ve got a new, awesome attraction and billions of dollars. Or something. I think my virginity just grew back. Here’s Kate Upton bouncing.