News schmews, you didn’t think I was going to deprive you of a picture of Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen grubbing down on American junk food, did you? Here they are at Nathan’s in Coney Island, just keeping it real as shit. I know they’re both British, but I move that we should pledge allegiance to this picture from now on instead of the flag. It makes me at least as proud. It’s the star-spangled chow down.
I’ve heard corn on the cob is mostly an American thing. If that’s true, between that and soccer, I don’t know what these foreigners have against just using your damned hands. HANDS ARE WHAT I USE TO HOLD MY GUNS, DON’T TREAD ON ME! (*shoots books with both pistols, hangs Truck Nutz on Lincoln memorial*)