Apologies for not live-blogging the MTV Movie Awards last night, but in fairness, I didn’t liveblog my nieces arguing over which of their dolls were prettiest either. Nonetheless, they happened, and Reese Witherspoon was there, collecting her award for fetchest wedge sandals “generation award”, whatever the hell that is. Naturally, she took this as an opportunity to diss Blake Lively, who’d been onstage 10 minutes earlier. Mee-yow.
“I get it, girls, that it’s cool to be a bad girl. But it is possible to make it in Hollywood without doing a reality show. When I came up in this business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed. And if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone, you hide your face, people! Hide your face!” [TheSuperficial]
Uh, what? Now, I get it if we’re talking about Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian, talentless idiots who rode to fame on the backs (heh) of the sex tapes they pretended were unauthorized and now sell perfume to little girls, but the knock on Blake Lively seems uncalled for. If someone hacks your cell phone against your will and posts your private pictures, you’re the one that’s supposed to be ashamed? Granted I’m just a raging sexist dying for a broad to make me a sandwich, but that seems very… unfeminist to me. Not to mention, you do realize you just won a box of fake popcorn at a ceremony that honored Justin Bieber’s “Best Jaw-Dropping Moment” in Justin Bieber: Never Say Never and gave “Best Line from a Movie” to “I want to get chocolate wasted!” from Grown Ups, right? Maybe not the best place to start doling out life advice like you’re the school valedictorian. “Remember, kids, take your vitamins and always believe in yourself! …And now, here’s Channing Tatum to interpretive pop and lock the nominees for ickyest creeper!”
In conclusion, YOU APOLOGIZE TO BLAKE LIVELY RIGHT NOW, REESE WITHERSPOON! SHE IS A GREAT PERSON AND A WONDERFUL PHOTOGRAPHER!