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The weirdest thing about this new Bill Cosby backlash to me is that the allegations about him were almost all already out there, and people only started caring after Hannibal Burress joked about it. I guess you can never predict what the final straw will be. Clearly, some people knew about it, but in terms of the public consciousness, the allegations existed more as Hollywood rumors and insidery whispers until recently. Of particular interest in that regard is this Crank Yankers clip from 2002, where Jimmy Kimmel calls a Japanese restaurant pretending to be Bill Cosby’s assistant, warning the staff that Bill Cosby will be coming to eat there soon, and calling with a series of strange requests.
Some of Kimmel’s requests:
- No direct eye contact.
- Mr. Cosby likes it at exactly 71 degrees.
- Bill does not like food in the shape of a square.
- The wait staff should refer to Mr. Cosby as “my man.”
- Exclusive access to the men’s room.
- A large, shallow bowl of salt water, Mr. Cosby likes to wash his feet before the meal.
This was always one of my favorite Crank Yankers bits, especially the closer, “Thanks, we look forward to seeing you! And please do not make direct eye contact with Mr. Cosby.” But when the news hit the other day that Bill Cosby’s actual requests involved a demand that all the female Late Show staffers gather to watch him eat curry, it made me see this bit in a whole different light. Not only does this bit that I once thought was slightly absurd suddenly seem like a premonition (what had Kimmel actually heard at the time?), it’s actually way less weird than the reality. It’d be like one day finding out that the Richard Gere gerbil story was all true, except that it was entire armadillos he was shoving up his ass.