Do I still need to list all the ways in which New Zealand has become a giant Lord of the Rings gift shop? Hobbit money. Hobbit airplane safety videos. Hobbit sculptures in the airport. Hobbit passport stamps. And things really reached a crescendo this week as The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey had its premiere in Wellington. How bad was it? Well, this guy did an entire summer weather forecast in Sindarin, one of the Elvish languages generally spoken between elves and- oh God I just wedgied myself it burns. You guys know there are going to be two more of these movies still, right? It’s like an entire country full of dorky, over-eager dads! New Zealand’s official motto: “Aw, dad! You’re embarrassing me!”
The way he nods at his cue because they cut to him too early… it’s just… it’s perfect in every way. He’s so into it! This is the most fun he’s ever had! And they spend more than half the 90-second video congratulating each other for it! “Virry virry imprissuve, moight! The way you woah thet wug loike thet… And heow dud you evah lirn sich good Ilvush? Dud they teach ut un schull?”
I imagine going to school in New Zealand is like being in a classroom full of Butterses from South Park, with everyone laughing and high-fiving because they get to finger paint. It’s the happiest place on Earth! Like a little boy who’s lived in a closet for ten years that suddenly got handed a slinky!
It is my dream to go to New Zealand and write a book about the Hobbit fever sweeping the sleepy nation. I will finance the whole trip by bartering with locals in pogs and slap bracelets.
[thanks to Brandon for the tip]