One question comedians always get asked is how we deal with hecklers. Hecklers are easy to deal with, because who doesn’t have a few canned insults? The problem is, it’s rare you get “heckled.” Usually you just get people who think they’re “helping” by shouting suggestions and doing bad yes-and in the middle of your setups. You haven’t been insulted, you’ve just had your bit derailed and your audience distracted. And I can think of few things that would derail a bit and distract an audience as effectively as having the NYPD burst in to arrest an audience member, as happened to Adam Newman at the UCB theater in New York recently.
“You guys couldn’t have waited until after my set?” Newman jokingly asks as the cops cuff the guy.
“Obviously not,” says one cop.
Another cop quickly adds, “Obviously shut the f*ck up, alright?” because that’s how professional police officers talk to inconvenienced bystanders these days. Hey, cops, if you wonder why people don’t seem to like you much these days, this is why. Imagine if a UPS guy said that to someone in the office who interrupted the signing-for-a-package process. “Go back to your desk, you fat bitch, this ain’t your business.”
I’ve been onstage when a fight has broken out in the audience before, and I now know from experience: never attempt to do your regular material afterwards. Fake spontaneity doesn’t play at all right after people have witnessed the genuine article. I can’t tell what Newman says that gets a big laugh right after the arrest, but his comment just before it was pretty perfect:
“This is not going to go well for me now, but when I tweet about it later it’s going to do very well.”
[hat tip: Splitsider]