Social media is dark and full of terrors spoilers. To avoid spoiling the fun for fans on the west coast and those who have to wait to beg, borrow, or steal an HBO Go password, this season I”m confining my stream-of-consciousness thoughts to this liveblog. Follow along or flee in fear. Here there be spoilers! Catch up on Episode Six, 'Blood of my Blood' over here.
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[8:57PM EDT] – Tonight's episode is called 'The Broken Man' which has to be the vaguest episode title yet, as it could apply to approximately 1,000 characters. Is it Jon? Theon? Tommen? Jaime? Edmure? The Three-Eyed Crow? Benjen? Bran? Jorah? All of them? Probably all of them. The only person it definitely isn't is the Blackfish. No one breaks the Blackfish.
[9:00PM EDT] – It's cute how HBO thinks there is a big overlap between 'Game of Thrones' fans and 'Ballers' fans.
[9:01PM EDT] – Previously on 'Game of Thrones,' Tommen outlived his usefulness; is now on the Queen of Thorns s–t list. Also, reminder the Freys are awful (come onnnnn, Lady Stoneheart), Arya remember she's a Stark. Also also, it was very vaguely hinted at that Sansa and Jon could marry to consolidate their power base.
[9:05PM EDT] – YES! THE HOUND LIVES! And I'm pretty sure that preacher is the one from the books who gives such a good speech about how the game of thrones affects the smallfolk. I hope he gives it again on the show. This also proves that we shouldn't believe Brienne just because she said she killed Stannis. No one is dead on this show until you see it.
[9:09PM EDT] – Bonus, please let the priest and/or the Hound find the Rubies from the Trident. Rhaegar's rubies. This priest is amazing. More of him. Now we just have to kill the High Sparrow and replace him with Ian McShane.
[9:11PM EDT] – Man it would be really easy for Margaery to just stab the High Sparrow right now. It would be so easy. I'm just sayin'.
[9:15PM EDT] – Not gonna lie, I'm a little surprised it took the Queen of Thorns this long to put two and two together that Margaery is playing the game. Come on! She learned it from you, woman!
[9:16PM EDT] – Say what you will about his sulkiness, but Jon Snow knows how to give a warrior speech (and rock a man bun, unf). Better than Dany and more benevolent. There. I said it. Plus, the last of the giants is on his side. That's gotta count for something.
[9:20PM EDT] – Damn, Queen of Thorns. Tell us how you really feel about Cersei. Must have felt delicious to see a Lannister beg for help and then tell her no. Props to Lena Heady on a under-stated and wonderful “Don't cry, don't cry” performance.
[9:24PM EDT] – Fun fact: In the books, they've been threatening to kill Edmure Tully for weeks. Which is why the Blackfish is all “Whatever loser, do it.”
[9:27PM EDT] – We need more little girls in charge of castles and men. And more of Ser Davos being the Child Whisperer. He is very good at it.
[9:36PM EDT] – I really do love the absurd London Bridge that is this city. Could do without all the nudity….oh right, I forgot Yara is bisexual.
[9:40PM EDT] – The Iron Born are really, really bad at dealing with PTSD. Alcohol is poor replacement for therapy and time.
[9:42PM EDT] – Here goes Sansa, doing what she needs to do to survive again. She hates Littlefinger, but not as much as she needs his men to kill Ramsay.
[9:43PM EDT] – Yes yes yes. Here comes the smallfolk speech by Ian McShane. This speech is so good. Or a different speech that is just as good. But I'll keep my fingers crossed for the other one.
[9:48PM EDT] – Arya Stark you are a delight and we missed you terribly. GODDAMN she took those stomach wounds like a champ. But it takes more than that to kill a Stark!
[9:51PM EDT] – But not as much to kill some helpless poor smallfolk. Dondarrion you were supposed to be better than this. We were all rooting for you and you let you men kill Ian McShane before he could give the smallfolk speech! HOUND SMASH.
[9:52PM EDT] – Ending eight minutes early!?!?! HBO, you monsters.
See y'all next week.