July Was So Hot That We Might As Well Just Launch Ourselves Into The Sun Right Now

Good news, friends: July, the month traditionally known for being stuffed full of pool parties, BBQs, and celebrations of our great nation (if you are an American), was officially LIT AF. How lit, fam? Well, it turns out that it was the hottest month ever recorded in the 136 years we’ve been keeping serious track of the weather. Good work, everyone! We’re really doing mother nature proud!

According to The Washington Post, July’s temperatures were alarming — 1.51-1.57 degrees above the 20th century average depending on whether you’re going with the report put out by the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration or the one by NASA, respectively — but what’s even more alarming is the fact that July’s record-breaking temperatures aren’t peculiar to that month alone. The high temperature has actually been breaking records for the last 10-15 months (again, based on which agency’s reports you’re going by). But the timing isn’t as important as the overall effect that the rising temperatures are having on the world. Climate change is suffocating our oceans, bleaching the Great Barrier Reef, melting our ice shelves, and releasing our old toxic waste into the aforementioned troubled waters (which will soon be flooding our shores).

From The Washington Post, who spoke to Meteorology professor John Furtado about why July was just so scorching:

Furtado said the record global warmth was connected to extreme weather events happening around the world, such as the urban flooding in Ellicott City, Maryland, and record flooding in China. “The two are going hand-in-hand, and they’re giving us a picture of what a future world might look like,” he said.

Time to break out that special edition DVD of Waterworld and start using it as a guide rather than a far-fetched fantasy flick about an impossible future, huh?

If you’re a visual learner, here are just some charts that give an indication of how July’s temperatures compare to those of Julys past.

There are, of course, some people still screeching about the fact that global warming isn’t real and that it’s just a giant conspiracy theory by some agency or other to keep the earth’s citizens scared, but even if that were true — wouldn’t it be a good idea to just take care of the earth anyway? We don’t know if the thought of the entire planet being completely destroyed by global warming keeps you up at night, but considering how hot things are getting (yes, even if it’s a little chilly in your living room), maybe we can all flip the lights off and bike to work once a week instead of taking the car?

Especially considering that, according to WaPo, there’s a 99 percent chance that this year will be recorded as the hottest on record.