One of the most disappointing half-hours of television I’ve ever sat through involved Lady Gaga. She guest starred on The Simpsons season 23 finale, and by guest star, I mean she was treated like the greatest, most wonderful farts-don’t-smell princess ever. It was horrible; The Simpsons treated her like she could do no wrong, which is ironic, because the entire episode was SO wrong. So I was pleasantly surprised that SNL gave her no such treatment, or at least one that wasn’t QUITE as fawning: she was handled like any other host, one who was willing to gently mock her image and star in one of the saddest, loneliest sketches in SNL history. Gaga was seemingly willing to do whatever was asked of her, from pretending to be a nebbishy Apple employee (which wasn’t funny, but still) to putting on her finest Italian accent and black bra to impersonate Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny.
Now before I go any further in pulling a Simpsons and humping the ground Gaga walked upon, there was still a whole lot of garbage in this episode, though not that much! Even better, we got a new great Weekend Update character, an outstanding short film about Blockbuster, and hey, R. Kelly!
Kells makes everything better. (DISCLAIMER: “everything” does not include underage girls.)
Cold Open
“WHOA, that’s a lot of crack.” Bobby Moynihan does a pretty solid, neckless impression of the world’s greatest mayor, and the cutaway to 60 Minutes was an inspired move after his interview with Pleasant Canadian Newsman #48 began to grow stale. Or maybe I’m just sad that Taran Killam’s wife didn’t drop by to show everyone what a REAL fake Canadian accent sounds like.
Paxil: Second Term Strength
One gets the feeling that SNL is ready for Obama to leave office (three more years!), so they’ll have someone more interesting to work off of. This Paxil spoof was the latest in a long line of middling sketches starring the president; a decent idea done decently enough, nothing more, nothing less.
Waking Up with Kimye
WOAH THERE SNL, don’t sock it to Apple and the Kardashians too hard. Are there funny jokes left to be told about the Kardashians, unless they’re said by Joel McHale? It’s almost too easy to make fun of Kim, “the Michael Jordan of wearing clothes,” and her klan; the only joke that really landed here was the visual gag of the Kardashian 11, featuring triangles, boxes of rice, AND clapping. Jay Pharaoh does a killer Kanye, but it could have been used better elsewhere…like something that doesn’t involve a sniveling Genius Bar employee. It’s funny ’cause they’re socially awkward?
Whaaat? The Worst Covers of All-Time
Speaking of Jay impersonating rappers: hey, Lil Wayne! Not as life-altering amazing as Bobby as Nathan Lane, but still good. This may sound odd, but no matter how good “The Worst Covers of All-Time” might have been, there’s no one way it could have been half as great as the concept. Imagining Rick Ross performing “Cups” is somehow far funnier than actually seeing Rick Ross performing “Cups.” Still, I appreciate any and all Counting Crows references. (Video isn’t available because blah blah blah copyright nonsense, so please “enjoy” the Crows’ on Letterman.)
Co-Op Board
I lived in a co-op building in Brooklyn for two years. On the ground floor, in the door closest to the exit, lived our obligatory apartment building crazy old lady. Her apartment smelled like musty piss, her living room was covered with old newspapers from decades ago, she always wore an ancient nightgown, and one time, unprovoked, she told me a joke that involved President Reagen and diarrhea. She was far more amusing than anything that happened in this sketch. Yikes.
Weekend Update: Mr. Senior
When was the last time Weekend Update cut away to a pre-recorded skit? It’s been awhile, and hopefully it’ll be even longer until we see anti-Christmas Creeper Mr. Senior again. Kenan’s latest character was too much like a tame Drunk Uncle; “kids these days” comments are only funny when they’re paired with racist asides. Love the Cosby sweater…
Weekend Update: Jebediah Atkinson
…though not as much as I loved Gettysburg Address critic Jebediah Atkinson, who we should appreciate and adore now, before he makes his second, fourth, eight Update appearance by the end of this season. The “kamikaze” was an inspired bit of improv.
Spotlightz Acting Camp
I would pay ALL the money to watch Cruising for a Dog Named Bruiser. “Spotlightz” and/or King Kong ain’t got doodle on Cruising for a Dog Named Bruiser. Major props to Gaga for impressively not pulling a Jenny Slate (and for totally owning her death bed More Like Forrest Dump line-read.)
Blockbuster Video
“In Loving Memory of Blockbuster.” F*ck that, but everything else: beautiful. Midway through Lady Gaga’s Love Tent Experience (you think the three fellas drew straws to see who’d get to make out with her?), I was afraid the mystical subversion wasn’t going to happen. When it did, I couldn’t have been happier. Sorry, homeless Aidy Bryant, but once you’ve banged on Blockbuster popcorn drums and dined on the forbidden Vines, there’s no going back. Also, nice Fools Rush In reference. Nicer Spirited Away shout-out. It’s NOT a cartoon.
Talent Pageant
Infectiously fun with a POV that necessarily never strays away from Ashley’s parents, and an excuse for Lady Gaga’s butt to be slapped and for Lady Gaga to slap John Milhiser’s butt (hey, finally learning how to spell his name!). I don’t know why this is important, but it is. (There’s also no video available for “Lady Gaga In the Future,” but: “I love the Smiths, Willow and Jaden.” This was…surprisingly depressing. It’s 40 years in the future, and no one remembers who Lady Gaga was. She’s no Empresses Beyonce; she’s just an old Italian woman whose only human interaction is calling the landlord to fix her unbroken lamp. She’s desperate for attention, but Kenan never quite recaling who he’s talking to was the one direction (my favorite classic rock group) the sketch should have gone. And it did, with a sad fade-away of Old Gaga singing “Applause” to an applause machine. It was incredibly dark, and SO much better than maybe the worst Simpsons episode of all-time. Still bitter.)
To watch the musical performances (with R. Kelly!), click here.