RELATED
Jimmy Kimmel Mashes All Of The Super Bowl Ads Into One Video
Here’s The Best Super Bowl Prank Video You’ll See Today
Perhaps even more important than the Super Bowl itself — at least to anyone who’s not a Broncos or Seahawks fan — is the Super Bowl party spread. A decadent feast of calories spread over four quarters, it’s probably the third greatest meal after Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. While the items vary, nearly every party will (or should) have these staples.
Whether you’re putting together your own Super Bowl fiesta or attending someone else’s, make sure the right eyes see this before gameday. These 10 items will ensure that everyone leaves with happy stomachs — no matter how their team fares in the end.
Arrival and Pregame
As Curt Menefee and Terry Bradshaw ramble on about how Peyton will function in the cold in-between clips of past Bowls, this is when whoever is hosting the Super Bowl party you’re attending should be rolling out the starters.
Chips and dip: Even the most low quality of Super Bowl parties will have chips and at minimum, one dip. It’s an obvious choice, but light snacking on pretzels, Doritos or some tortilla chips and guac will provide a good base for the onslaught people’s stomachs are about to receive. Pick your dip recipe here.
Veggie tray: There will almost certainly be people at the Super Bowl party you’re attending that aren’t going to want to eat melted cheese and wings, and while it’s tempting to banish them to the cold or another room to watch whatever TBS is showing, it’s more polite to offer some veggies and hummus. And at some point in your buffalo wing stupor, a celery stick might look pretty good.
First Quarter
Deli tray or sub sandwiches: Not essential to the Super Bowl spread, but never not welcomed by open mouths. A nice array of deli meets and cheeses or finger sandwiches are solid way to celebrate kickoff.
Pigs in a blanket or cocktail wieners: Like the deli tray, pigs in a blanket aren’t a Super Bowl staple, but you know that if somebody brought a tray of them out you’d be inhaling them like a vacuum. How to make bacon-cheddar pigs in a blanket and be a god among your friends here.
Second Quarter
Wings: The Holy Grail of Super Bowl foods, if you ever find yourself at Super Bowl party and wings aren’t present, leave immediately, that’s a bad crowd you shouldn’t associate with. Or order some from Dominoes and become a folk hero.
Some will insist that the wings must be the traditional neon orange buffalo flavor, but there’s nothing wrong with mixing it up with some Thai-chili or honey glazed.
Halftime
Pizza: Rarely is the Halftime Show exciting, and even with Flea dancing around with a sock on his d*ck people are going to be talking about how good the game has been so far or how boring it’s been. This is where pizza comes in. Nobody’s going to be impressed by it, yet most will willfully take a slice to help pass the time. Pizza, get it here.
Third Quarter
Layered dip: Wings brought the party’s taste buds to a fever pitch and then half time pizza brought it back down, a good multi-layered dip will kickstart the third quarter. It’s impossible to resist and will give people something to live for if it looks like their team will soon be sending a bulk shipment of useless “Super Bowl Champions” shirts to Ethiopia. Learn to make seven layers of dip heaven here.
Fourth Quarter
Chili: While some people may be in a food coma by this point or too distraught to eat, that’s no reason the rest of us should miss out on one of the greatest football foods ever. It’s cold and chili is a can’t miss addition to any Super Bowl spread. All the Super Bowl chili you need.
Overtime & Lead-out Programs
Dessert: Dessert seems a little out of place with the rest of the Super Bowl smorgasbord, but after hours of meat and salted chips, a tray of brownies could be damn inviting during the Prince-themed episode of New Girl.
Oh, and have beer, but that kinda goes without saying.
Feel free to include any must-have menu items below.
Banner via Getty Images