Intro by Gotty™
They know exactly who they are and what they’re doing. They’re members of a small set of celebrity women who just ooze promiscuity. Whether they’re whoring for money, fame or whoring just to whore, they’re doing it. And we know too. Yet, we love them. Publicly, we may say we “hate” them and their ways…but we would buy them chocolates and hold their hands publicly for the world to see. Yep, even with all of their assumed mileage, we’d still put a ring on these seven hoes women.
1. Amber Rose
Before becoming Kanye’s muse and Wiz’s wiz, Amber Rose was a stripper. Now let’s be honest. When a chick is an “exotic dancer”, 100% of the time, “back room whore” is also on her resume when the price is right (and it’s ALWAYS right). Don’t care if she’s a nursing student or the neighborhood hoodrat, if she’s stripping, she’s f*cking! So we already know Amber has some miles on her pretty punani but that still won’t stop anyone from placing a ring on her hand. Why? Because she’s bad as f*ck and she looks like she takes it up all orifices. All orifices.
2. Kim Kardashian
You know Kim Kardashian’s deal. She’s an annoying, spoiled fame-whore whose claim to fame is taking Ray J’s D in the most uninteresting way possible. She probably can’t boil water and you can just tell she’s a nag. However, she’s worth $35 million dollars and…see the above pic.
3. Christina Milian
“F*cking for tracks” isn’t a new phenomenon that came about when Christina Milian stepped foot into a studio for the first time. Overly ambitious singers have been “getting down” for a hit or two since forever but Christina has been the posterchild for the practice for as long as one can remember. Joss Stone called her out for it and her trail of ex’s – which includes millionaire producer Beau Dozier, Dre of Cool & Dre and Nick Cannon – seal the deal. However, that didn’t stop super-producer The-Dream from knocking her up and making the singer his wife. Their union ended in divorce and we can only assume that Christina no longer has to put in “work” since securing her future for the next 18 years.
4. Karrine “Superhead” Steffans
Her name is Superhead and this Hoover harlot has sucked off countless numbers of rappers, athletes, actors and politicians. And she might just suck a ring outta you the way she did Eddie Winslow and, recently, some random dude. Or maybe you’ll end up like Wayne, who didn’t marry Karrine but is reportedly still sprung off the suction.
5. Rihanna
This is tricky. Rihanna doesn’t belong on here per se. She’s more of a man-eater. She gets what she wants and moves on, something Drake still can’t seem to do. But can you blame him? Hell, even Chris Brown is rumored to be going back for seconds and that chick nearly ruined his career! Clearly, she has the ambrosia of the gods’ between her legs and you’d wife because you’re a cocky bastard who thinks he can tame her wild & crazy ass.
6. Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander
It’s not crazy to assume that Hoopz is a money-grubbing groupie. In my opinion, any woman who stars in a reality show where she’s vying for the affections of a man has questionable character. Since first appearing on Flavor of Love and I Love Money, rumors have been flying regarding Hoopz’s alleged hoe activities and a leaked sextape doesn’t help her cause much. But just like Shaq, you too would probably turn a blind eye, because, aside from having head crushing thighs, Hoopz is a guy’s girl. She’s essentially a bro in that she’s really into sports (hence the “Hoopz” nickname) and seems to be a goofy chick you can have G-rated fun with…after intercourse of course!
7. Mya
Surely you didn’t think we’d go without mentioning Mya! Rumors of her hoedom have plagued the sultry singer since the beginning of her career back in 1998. The long list of industry men Ms. Harrison has allegedly bedded even resulted in false tales that she was planning on releasing a Superhead-type tell-all book. She’s denied her reputation but you wouldn’t care if the rumors were true anyway because with her sweet smile, innocent eyes and those cankles thick legs & thighs, you’d make an honest woman out of her, move her out to the suburbs where you two will live happily ever after with your 2.5 kids and dog named Max.