Carlie Hertel, 18, was at the Jewish Community Center in Chesterfield, Missouri, when she noticed a car taking up more than one spot in the parking lot. Rather than act like a normal person — put a banana in the tailpipe — she smeared mascara all over the windows and left a note.
“Hey [expletive]. How about you park your car like a normal person you [expletive] head. Also, left you some presents in your gay car!”
Oh, so it was an electric car? Anyway, scratches from Hertel’s mascara application rampage “resulted in thousands of dollars in damage,” and she was arrested, with cops charging her with first degree property damage. She also took the saddest mugshot ever.
I think the cops were playing “Jurassic Bark” when the photo was taken.