Bankrupt Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones Claims He Can’t Go Anywhere Without People Slobbering All Over Him: ‘Women Are Throwing Themselves At Me’

If you were asked to state the first adjective that comes to mind when picturing Alex Jones, there are plenty you might think of: Sweaty. Gross. Loud. Obnoxious. Hairy. Unhinged. Frequently shirtless. Bankrupt.

“Beloved” wouldn’t likely enter the equation, but you’d be wrong not to go there. So says Jones himself, who spent a few minutes mock-complaining about how difficult it is for him to do a simple thing like go out to eat and not be swarmed by a group of admirers, who want to do everything from feed to f**k him.

Former federal prosecutor Ron Filipkowski shared a 45-second clip from a recent episode of InfoWars, in which Jones barked about how much people just love him. Comparing his life of a decade or so ago with what it’s like today, Jones explained:

Now I go to a restaurant and I say, ‘Listen, can I be put in a private room?’ Not ‘cause I don’t care about the public, but it’s gonna make a major scene. If they don’t have a private room, you know what happens? My food gets bought almost every time. And I get mobbed all around the table. And I’m signing autographs for the waiters. And the owner comes out. And I get followed into the parking lot. And women are throwing themselves at me. And I’m not bragging about it, I’m just telling you.

According to Jones, being “demonized” by “the establishment” had made life very difficult for him and his family at times. “We do get haters, we do get stalkers,” he said. But they’ve also provided him and InfoWars with a much bigger platform, and have made him much more “iconic” than he would have been otherwise.

Sure, he may spread lies about school shootings — but who wouldn’t throw themself at this guy?