https://www.instagram.com/p/BQDfmvyjzHl/?taken-by=uproxxnews&hl=en
It’s amazing, really: on Thursday morning, no one, save Kellyanne Conway, had heard of the Bowling Green Massacre; by Thursday night and into Friday, it’s all anyone could talk about. Such is the power of “alternative facts.”
Let’s be clear: there is no such thing as the “Bowling Green Massacre,” no matter what Conway said on Hardball. “I bet it’s brand new information to people that President Obama had a six-month ban on the Iraqi refugee program after two Iraqis came here to this country, were radicalized and they were the masterminds behind the Bowling Green Massacre,” she told Chris Matthews. “Most people don’t know that because it didn’t get covered.”
It also doesn’t exist. Two Iraqi nationals, Waad Ramadan Alwan and Mohanad Shareef Hammadi, were arrested in Bowling Green, Kentucky, in 2011 on terrorism charges (CNN notes, “The two men were never planning on committing an act of terrorism on US soil. Instead, they were trying to help get weapons to al Qaeda in Iraq”) and there’s a video on YouTube titled “Kentucky Chainsaw Massacre.” But these are unrelated events. Now that one of the president’s most trusted advisors is making up facts, though, the internet is doing the same with some hilarious details about the “massacre.”
We are
The Bowling Green
Fabrication Society pic.twitter.com/QPnbGWeKgj— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) February 3, 2017
“I learned about the Bowling Green Massacre from my boyfriend George… George Glass.” pic.twitter.com/gNODZmFeS6
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) February 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/netw3rk/status/827370485486727168
Ah, the Bowling Green Massacre. Adele Dazeem deserves the death penalty for that one.
— Jordan Peele (@JordanPeele) February 3, 2017
There's only one director who could properly depict the relentless carnage of the Bowling Green Massacre and that's Mel Gibson.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) February 3, 2017
The Bowling Green Massacre will be taught in schools as a battle fought against an idiot propagandist whose brain was smaller than her mouth
— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/wilw/status/827393394469015552
It's too soon for all these Bowling Green Massacre tweets. You have to at least let it happen first.
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) February 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/jenstatsky/status/827381606935457795
https://twitter.com/kumailn/status/827389866841239552
I worried that as a society we'd become numb to violence but our collective forgetting of the Bowling Green massacre means it's happened
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) February 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/PAPPADEMAS/status/827357694633795586
One still shudders to think how bad the Bowling Green massacre would've been if not for the heroic intervention of Fred Douglass.
— Alec MacGillis (@AlecMacGillis) February 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/827391863493517313
Oh, and don’t worry: there were Mark Wahlberg jokes.
Mark Wahlberg screaming at his agent, “I WANT A FAHCKIN' BOWLING GREEN MASSACRE SCRIPT YESTERDAY!"
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) February 3, 2017
someone's protein powder-eating boyfriend is trying to convince her to go see the Bowling Green Massacre movie starring Mark Wahlberg
— Liz Arcury (@LizArcury) February 3, 2017
Peter Berg and Mark Wahlberg are already making a Bowling Green Massacre movie.
— Aaron Fullerton (@AaronFullerton) February 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/AlySemigran/status/827375842963628032
https://twitter.com/gabedelahaye/status/827415865247178752
https://twitter.com/RibosomeChomsky/status/827418241328885760
Mark Wahlberg would have stopped the Bowling Green Massacre.