More than 86,000 people currently follow Courtney Stodden on Twitter, and I’m confident that less than a handful of them could tell me why she’s actually famous. But that’s the beauty of celebrity these days – it’s all about shock value over talent. And what’s more shocking than a 16-year old girl with bleach blonde hair and the body of a centerfold becoming the third wife of a 51-year old actor?
That’s the basic background of Stodden’s rise to mediocrity. Currently 17, Stodden aspires to be a huge music star, as she hails from Nashville and she’s already displayed her, um, talent in the music video for her song, “Don’t Put it on Me.” And that’s pretty much all we know about her, other than she likes to wear miniskirts while she shops for books, and she jogs in high heels.
As for her Twitter, it’s one of the most unintentionally hilarious accounts in existence. (And if it is intentional, then I tip my cap to Stodden for being this generation’s Andy Kaufman.) Here are some of her latest nuggets of wisdom:
Daringly dipped in nothing but translucent stockings as the heat of the fire stimulates a very sultry fantasy of mine…
While hardcore hits dominate my every move – I suddenly strip – & jump on top of a sexy sports car as I begin to wash it uncontrollably!
Flaunting very flirty flight attendant attire tonight — Are you ready to fly first-class?
Slowly slipping into an elegant evening gown, sumptuous stiletto slippers & dazzling diamonds as I anticipate this sexy Sunday evening. XOs
She’s like the result of a merger between Penthouse and Reader’s Digest, except much, much creepier, seeing as she’s only 17-years old.
Thankfully, we’re not alone in appreciating how incredibly creepy and random Stodden’s Tweets are. While there was already one delightful Tumblr celebrating Stodden’s Tweets (the hilarious “Pugs with Courtney Stodden Tweets”) we now have a new favorite in the simply named “Courtney Stodden Tweets Drawn.”
I don’t know much about the Tumblr page’s author, but his doodles of her delusions are fantastic. I’ve assembled a few in a gallery for your entertainment. Enjoy.