Vladimir Putin’s Private Army Is Now Recruiting On Pornhub, In Case You Wondered Exactly How Poorly This War Is Going

Vladimir Putin’s multiple massive drafts within a year already clued the world in to the enormous loss of life over in Ukraine, where soldiers are said to be walking into a meat grinder of grim circumstances. At this point, voluntarily signing up is tantamount to co-signing one’s death sentence, and things also aren’t going so great for Putin’s privately hired mercenaries, the Wagner Group, which recently complained that the Russian president stopped taking their calls and cut off their ammo supply.

Russia also recently moved on from simply recruiting from male prisons to drag in female counterparts, and let’s just say that a new clue has arrived to point out how desperate times are in this conflict (even more so than news of the so-called “Russian Walter White” being made to take the plunge). As Page Six relates, the Wagner Group is on Pornhub with ads that ask men to stop with the “whack off” routine and go get whacked. Or something like that:

In the commercial, a blonde woman wearing red lipstick is seen twirling an oversized lollipop in her mouth, while a husky female voice purrs in the background: “we are the f-king coolest private army in the world.”

“We are recruiting fighters from all regions of Russia… Don’t whack off, go work for PMC Wagner.”

Then a phone number appears on the screen, which is said to be associated with Wagner Group recruiters.

Well, they’re gonna win this thing now. Here’s a look at the purported ad:

In all seriousness, however, Russia recently suffered deadliest day since the Ukraine invasion began with over 1,000 of Putin’s guys losing their lives. And it seems that every political analyst agrees that Kremlin is now embracing their sunk-cost fallacy and won’t ever be able to cut their losses and retreat. It seems unlikely that anyone will see this ad and decide that signing up for Wagner Group is a smart idea or that women will be waiting in the wings, but that reality clearly isn’t stopping them from trying.

(Via Page Six)