Being single can be even more frustrating around the holidays, with your grandma asking you why you’re chronically alone and reminding you how darn cute your cousin’s third baby is. There’s really no way to avoid that question, and no amount of failed attempts at Netflix and Chill fill that void. This week’s AskReddit asked single men why they don’t have girlfriends, and, this being Reddit, the conversation was predictably extensive and more than a little grim. Boiled down to the simplest elements, the three main contributing factors are shyness, impossible standards, and video games. Also, prepare yourself for more than one variation on the “my wife won’t share” joke.
User HippieSoulPunx doesn’t harbor any delusions regarding his living situation:
Because I hardly ever leave the house, and as far as I’m aware, my house isn’t a hotel for women, so I don’t tend to meet any here.
Rush_nj calls foul on this entire endeavor:
I wasn’t aware my mother had a reddit account. Hi Mum.
Vtiger5 may be a little too self-deprecating, but at least he has a good sense of what women are looking for in a mate:
I have zero redeeming qualities, can’t even make spaghetti.
MagnificentMako wants you to know that he’s doing just fine, thank you very much:
I’m a strong, independent white man who don’t need no woman.
Gaming takes precedence in the life of more_genies. Not even Civilization V will keep you warm in these long winter months, pal:
I just started a game of Civ V, so I won’t have any time the next 3 months.
Video games were a pretty common refrain. BusDriver2Hell can attest to that:
Fallout 4
This was the response from one of my coworkers just last week. As he put it, “I don’t have time to wander around the capital wasteland and go on dates for the chance to get lucky.”
Imasargent is trapped in an endless cycle of frustration:
Because I’m not interested in dating anyone I don’t already know and I don’t want to ask anyone I do know.
At least beautifulsole is being honest? Alone, but self-aware:
I’m ugly af but have impossibly high standards.
Umtiti‘s comment feels like one of those really sad Five Word Novels:
Cause she doesnt like me
I am convinced that ZerpBoat is a troll, because no 14-year-old straight boy is this uninterested in the female form:
Because I’m fourteen and I don’t think it’s really important right now
Sometimes, in the case of ilikehouses, things just don’t work out:
Broke up with her last night. She was the most caring, nice, and attentive person I’ve ever met, let alone dated. We’re talking later this afternoon but I just couldn’t take it anymore. She was too boring and too different from me. Everytime I planned something exciting, it ended up being boring. She tried so hard to make things right but I feel like we we’re just too radically different from each other and I figured it wasn’t healthy for either of us to go further. I felt like I kicked a small and obedient dog who was always nice to me but in reality I wanted a wolf. I’m so sorry, Kristian. You were always there for me and I will never forget you, or all that you’ve done for me.
Tired of getting pestered by yet another questioner, de_sente will have none of Reddit’s sh*t:
Why don’t YOU have a girlfriend?
The whole thread is worth checking out. Or maybe go outside and meet a girl.
(Via Reddit)