Earlier today, I was thinking to myself, “Man, I’m SO happy my genitalia isn’t made out of my forearm skin, blood vessels, and nerves. I wonder what that’s like?” Sensing a story in which they could use “penis” in the headline, here comes the Sun, answering my query with the triumphant story of one Mr. Andrew Wardle.
WITH his good looks and charming patter, it’s easy to see why Andrew Wardle is a hit with the ladies. But while he has slept with more than 100 women, there is a secret he has kept from all his admiring pals — he was born without a penis…But now he is preparing for ground-breaking surgery which will see him become one of the first men in the world to have an entirely new penis built from his own arm. (Via)
/17 Happy Madison employees rush to get the rights to his life story.
At 21, Andrew…experimented with drugs such as ecstasy and LSD as a way of dealing with the psychological effects of being born without his manhood. He said: “By taking drugs I gave myself the perfect cover. I’d bed girls but said things could only go so far because the drugs meant I couldn’t rise to the occasion. I’ve been to bed with over 100 women. Some were one-night stands, some long-term relationships. I’ve told 20% of them the truth. (Via)
His inspiration, the Diane Keaton to his Woody Allen, is Mohammed Abad, an “Edinburgh man who lost his penis in a car crash at six but had it rebuilt using part of his arm.” The part of Mohammed will be played by Rob Schneider in Happy Madison’s Hard Dick and the Good Luck Arm. It’s, confusingly, about a talking fart.