Now that I’ve finished my typical one-week detoxifying period after subjecting myself to more Taco Bell than any man ever should, we can finally ask the most important question on every human being’s mind – what’s next for the Taco Bell breakfast menu? The answer, it seems, is the Biscuit Taco, as the fast food chain that continues to ignore that I am both its greatest fan and critic recently invited some food writers to its top secret volcano laboratory to feast their eyes on the prototype of what could be the next item that half-awake people lazily order while making themselves 15 minutes late for work.
According to Food Beast’s Elie Ayrouth, one of the privileged chosen ones invited to Taco Bell’s test kitchen, the Biscuit Taco is basically what it sounds like, “a warm, flakey, golden brown biscuit that happens to be shaped in the form of a taco,” that will be available in one of five varieties, including the standards like bacon or sausage and egg. It’s not all about the breakfast menu, though, as there was also a Biscuit Taco containing chicken with a jalapeno honey sauce. I can almost feel my stomach screaming, “Don’t you f*cking think about it, fat boy!”
As for what the breakfast version of the BT will look like, here’s the deliciousness right out of the test kitchen:
Once again, Taco Bell’s limited creativity is on full display, as someone earned a paycheck to simply say, “Uh, we’ll take the Waffle Taco, but replace that sponge we call a waffle with a biscuit, right?” For a company that’s slogan once invoked that tired old cliché of thinking outside the box, this is really disappointing. At least give me a pancake with cheese, eggs and bacon folded over into a flapjack quesadilla. How hard would that be? It took me five seconds to think up, and it would probably take me two seconds to eat. It also might take several days to digest, but that’s the price I pay for loving this dumb fast food chain so much.
(Banner via Rob Wilson / Shutterstock.com)