Ah, Christmas. The time of year when everyone gathers around the fire with family and friends to exchange gifts and pleasantries while drinking questionable substances such as eggnog. Christmas has morphed from a time for reflection on the birth of Jesus Christ to a holiday featuring classic stop-motion animation, songs about bells jingling (as if there are songs about guitar strings vibrating) and the commercialization of childhood behavior incentives. But it wasn’t always this way. No, the genesis of Christmas and everyone’s favorite cookie munchin’ home invader is much more medieval and dark.
While the overlying theme of a general time in which children have been judged on their behavioral performance has been a constant in the Christmas legend, main characters like Santa Claus, or Saint Nick, have transformed from vigilante to judge to employer of a shadow monster from hell before finally settling as on the North Pole for an immortal life as a gift giver. The general plot of Christmas is seriously all over the place.
So, because you need to have something to discuss awkwardly at Christmas dinner besides politics and where you’re working now, we invite you to watch our investigation into the creepy truth behind Christmas. It’ll distract your from your aunt’s gift of a Make America Great Again hat.
“Gawd, Aunt Camellia, don’t you know I share Donald Trump quotes ironically?”