Tucker Carlson Is Insisting That Nancy Pelosi Is Actually Michael Jackson: “He’s Had a Lot of Work Done Since We Saw Him Last”

If there’s one thing worse than Tucker Carlson acting like a smug a**hole it’s Tucker Carlson attempting to be funny while acting like a smug a**hole. Case in point: On Monday night’s Tucker Carlson Tonight, the Fox News host delivered a whole story about how shocking it was to see Michael Jackson on Face the Nation, complete with a chyron reading “Shocking TV Appearance Raises Eyebrows.” In reality, of course, it was clearly Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi—but Carlson, deadpan comic that he is, delivered the bit with a straight face, and even a bit of mock shock. As he told viewers:

“So yesterday was Sunday, and you may have found yourself on the couch idly flipping around the TV dial. And if you flipped far enough, you could’ve had the shock of your life. Michael Jackson was on Face the Nation.

Now let’s be clear: this wasn’t a video of Michael Jackson performing his hit songs of the 1990s. This appeared to be a living version of the international pop star that news reports claimed died of a drug O.D. more than a dozen years ago. And yet despite those claims there he was, fully, undeniably Michael Jackson talking on television. How can that be? Honestly, we have no idea. We’re not theologians here. This is merely a news program. We can only show you what we saw. Here it is.

While Carlson referring to his show as “a news program” might be the real joke, the host then cut to footage of Pelosi speaking about the January 6th insurrection—a deadly attack on the Capitol, which the Fox News host has repeatedly brushed off as no big deal. Carlson, clearly not understanding when or how to end a joke, or really what makes for a good joke at all, had more to say once the clip had ended:

“See? Michael Jackson. That was him. No ‘Billie Jean,’ apparently he’s given up singing—now he’s telling lies about politics. Same man. If you’ve ever seen Michael Jackson you cannot forget the face, though admittedly he’s had a lot of work done since we saw him last.”

Note to Tucker: Don’t quit your day job. On second thought…