Contrary to speculation I am not in Indanapolis at the NFL combine. I can see how maybe one would of gotten that impression though given Gary Kubiaks morning press conference and the reaction that followed.
Reporter asked Gary Kubiak: "Is Joe Flacco elite?"
Kubiak's response: "You bet he is." pic.twitter.com/3EpDOEfZYh
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) February 18, 2015
But a lass I am not there. HOWEVER that wont stop me from getting you all prepared for what is probably going to be the most electric NFL event in Febuary besides the Superbowl,the start of when teams can do franchise tags, and the conclusion of the deflategate investigation. The majesty that is the NFL combine.
Why do they call it the NFL combine?
Well its because it literally combines the Westmister dog show with a Calvin Klein underwear shoot.
I had some fun with it last night and said that its no wonder that a dog from the WORKING group hasnt won at Westminster since Obama took office folks. Matter fact they should just combine the scouting combine with the dog show since its basicaly the same competition: The winners allways some flashy young coddled princess with a stupid haircut, and once they win there just going to spend the rest of their lives getting paid to be lazy and having kids theyll never meet, no offense.
The actual drills get started tomorrow but as far as Im concern the agility performance of the year is allready in the books folks:
Why is the NFL combine held in Indy every year?
Well its a age-old gentlemens agreement that began because the other owners didnt trust Robert Irsay to travel to any other citys without secretly moving his teams faciltys there, and it continued to accomodate the probaton restrictions his son Jim faces visa vi crossing state lines.
There are some annual traditons at the combine that many readers wont be aware of: theres the meetup at St Elmos steakhouse where NFL peronel guys get super exited about a flashy first round appetizer shrimp cocktail that turns out to be average and then they salivate over a bunch of meat thats more sizzle then substance, which in no way is a metaphor for anything else going on in there lives this week.
Rich Eisen runs the 40
Im calling it right now this tradition has jump the shark. Im here to announce a fresh new annual competition for the common NFL fan to take part in: Its going to be a comptition amongst NFL fans to see who can drink a 40 the fastest or most creatively. In honor of Dri Archers blazing 4.2 40 time last year Im calling it the “Steeler Reserve challenge” send me youre videos/pics or storys and the winner will be awarded a gift that I will order off amazon.com of my choosing.
The Offseason Quaterback speculation begins:
–Jay Gruden was asked about whose his starting QB and he said:
“We’ll obviously go into season with Robert as our No. 1 guy,”
Obviously. Yes of course obviously. Look, I dont want to take away a guys job but RG3s got a baby on the way and his entire next season hes going to be more focus on changing diapers then changing his mechanics.
When Gruden uses “obvously” as one of those words thats so obviously out of place that there’s no choice but to interpret it as meaning the exact opposite. Im pretty sure the Germans have a name for that word and its called “Cow Scheisse.” Its like when Obama said “You CAN keep your doctor”, or when God said “thou shall NOT kill” he meant unless your in a war and need to kill A LOT of people.
Anyways thats the haps from Day 1 in Indy. The first of what promisses to be a very exiting combine in deed.