Look out, Lucy Lawless: Ron Swanson has found a new lover. Her name is Molly Schuyler, and when not working at Applebee’s, she eats obscene amounts of food, as opposed to serving obscene food. According to the Telegraph, Schuyler recently set a world-record by “devouring a 72 ounce steak in two minutes and 44 seconds.”
That’s four-and-a-half pounds, which is like eating a MacBook Pro. It’s quite something watching her not so much chew, but rip that damn hunk of meat like a wolf or hungry stoner swallowing an In-N-Out burger.
Keep it in your pants, Ron.