Last week, the USDA and Rancho Feeding Corporation announced the recall of more than 8 million pounds of meat due to the fact that it was not properly inspected and therefore not safe for human consumption. How you recall and collect that much beef is beyond me, but it sounds like a hell of a job and I tip my cap to the beef inspectors responsible for it. The recall affected meat in California, Florida, Illinois, Oregon, Texas, and Washington, in case you’re trying to pinpoint where the virus that created the zombie plague originated, and now at least one high profile food product has been singled out for containing the disgusting meat – Hot Pockets.
Naturally, as people have read the news from Nestlé and the USDA press release’s information about the processing of “diseased and unsound animals and carried out these activities without the benefit or full benefit of federal inspections,” people have been cranking out the jokes about the meat in Hot Pockets. But only one man’s jokes ever matter when it comes to Hot Pockets, and that is Jim Gaffigan, who Tweeted this official statement, and by official statement I mean timely joke.
In case you don’t have an annoying friend who constantly says, “Hot Pockets” or “Dead Pockets” in a high-pitched voice all the time, here’s Gaffigan’s popular bit on the late-night stoner food.