Ladies and gentlemen, may I present you with the greatest internet personality of 2015, so far — and I say this without an iota of hyperbole — 73-year-old Carl Moore, an ex-first recon Marine who punched a bear in the face to save his beloved chihuahua Lacy.
Last week, Carl heard Lacy whimpering outside of his home in the Sacramento foothills. When he went out to check on the dog he loves like a child, he found a 5-foot bear ominously closing in on her. As Carl says, “I ain’t run from nothing; I never have in my whole life, and I ain’t going to start now.” That’s when the sh*t went down and that bear got a knuckle sandwich.
Sacramento’s CBS13 was fortunate enough to speak with Carl, who spun quite the tale:
“And I raised both hands in the air and I cussed at him, ‘Rrraaaaaaa! Get out of here you bastard, and he looked at me like ‘Go eff yourself,” he said.
Carl landed a whirling haymaker, punching the bear right in the face—bear-handed if you will. “He come up like this, and turned, boom, I hit him hard. Tyler said I damn corkscrewed his head,” he said.
To dispel any doubt that this was just some old-timer speaking tall tales, Carl’s friend and employee of 25 years, a man named John Sergant, was there to witness the whole thing, which led to the greatest local news caption ever: