McDonald’s unveiled a redesigned Hamburglar yesterday, and this new Hamilton B. Urglar is looking… different. He’s at once creepy, hipster-ish, and, well, perhaps just a bit f*ckable? I’m so confused. The internet was a little flummoxed by the new Hamburglar as well, with some making jokes about wanting to bang the Hamburglar, others claiming it ruins their childhood (lighten up, Francis), and some comparing things to other things. Oh, internet. Never change.
Our favorite jokes about this total HILF are collected below. Thanks to TIME, Dorkly, First We Feast, and Reddit for the assist.
https://twitter.com/rustyk5/status/596029901788094464
https://twitter.com/hahanuhuhh/status/596041321355218944
New Hamburglar immediately became my Tinder picture
— octave (@curtofranklin) May 6, 2015
McDonald's new Hamburglar only steals artisanal locally sourced hamburgers pic.twitter.com/Hx2pqbeDER
— Desus MF Nice💯 (@desusnice) May 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/chriswelch/status/596023973495865344
https://twitter.com/lindsayism/status/596032870554202113
Why does the new Hamburglar look like Blankman's second sidekick? pic.twitter.com/lBIoTUSZFF
— Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) May 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/briangaar/status/596061817677467648
Like, couldn't the new Hamburglar ONLY steal burgers from the other hamburger chains? Like Omar on THE WIRE? "Robble comin'!"
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 7, 2015
thought of a really funny Hamburglar tweet but now realize it'll work much better as a suicide note
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) May 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/GMPaiella/status/596026111823327232
HEY did you notice the new Hamburglar looks like the Repo Man?! SURELY I am the 1st person on the internet to make this clever observation!
— Veda Scott (@itsvedatime) May 7, 2015
Daring choice by McDonald's for the new Hamburglar pic.twitter.com/rwby23lA2z
— Dr. Bucky Isotope, Astrologist, IQ 188 (@BuckyIsotope) May 6, 2015
"Mom? I have amazing news. I'm the new Hamburglar. Is Dad awake?"
— Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest) May 7, 2015
It's super obvious that Superman is Clark Kent, but it's even more obvious that The Hamburglar is Macklemore. pic.twitter.com/Vi23so5mLF
— Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) May 6, 2015
"The world will look up and shout, 'save us!' And I'll whisper… 'robble.'" pic.twitter.com/ZrdVGXDf9r
— Bob Chipman 😁 bobchipman.bsky.social (@the_moviebob) May 6, 2015
Look, before we all rush to judge the new Hamburglar, let's wait and see how good he actually is at stealing hamburgers.
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) May 6, 2015