Of the 16 new shows to debut on the Big Four networks (ABC, CBS, FOX, and NBC) this season, not a single one has been canceled. Orders have been reduced, as E! Online points out, but The Player going from 13 episodes to nine isn’t the same thing as NBC saying thanks, no thanks to Wesley Snipes, and putting the series out of its misery. Are we living in a kinder world? Not exactly.
In fact, reducing episode orders is a great way to never have to cancel a show at all. Just let the show run its newly shortened course and then refer to it as a “limited” or “event” series, let it fade into oblivion, never to be spoken of again until its few diehard fans start wondering why it doesn’t appear on the next season’s schedule. (Via E Online)
All you Blood & Oil fans, all dozen of you, are going to feel duped when you realize your DVR season pass is useless in a few weeks.
Just how unusual is it that after many of the new shows have aired five of six episodes, none have been canned? Let’s take a look at the first cancellation for every fall season since 2000, not counting programming on The CW, WB, or UPN.
2000-01: Tucker (four episodes)
Tucker, a divorce comedy that lasted for all of four episodes, is probably best known for being Katey Sagal’s first post-Married… with Children live-action starring role. Which is to say, it’s barely known at all.
2001-02: Danny (two episodes)
Daniel Stern’s résumé isn’t impeccable, but it does have Diner, Hannah and Her Sisters, The Wonder Years, Home Alone, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, City Slickers, City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold, and that one episode of The Simpsons on it. That’s good enough to deserve better than Danny, a came-and-went comedy about a single dad with two kids that he created. Fortunately, in WGN’s Manhattan, Stern’s found a more successful showcase for his talents.
2002-03: That Was Then (two episodes)
That was then, this is… you’re gone after a pair of episodes, both of which starred the immortal Jeffrey Tambor, neither of which left an impression. Other than, “Didn’t The WB’s Do Over have the same time-travel plot?”
2003-04: Coupling (four episodes)
BBC’s Coupling was a marvelously nuanced comedy about the sexual misadventures of six friends. NBC’s much-hyped remake was anything but. It was a stale Friends close, and creator Steven Moffat even candidly admitted, “The network f*cked it up because they intervened endlessly.” It’s no wonder BBC America ran commercials for the original British episodes after the piss-poor U.S. copies, almost as if to prove that no, really, this show is excellent.
2004-05: Hawaii (seven episodes)
After Hawaii Five-O and before, um, Hawaii Five-0, there was Hawaii, which revolved around the Hawaii Police Department. With such an original idea, it’s hard to fathom how this procedural only made it seven episodes.
2005-06: Head Cases (two episodes)
Here’s a fun Wikipedia sentence: “It was cancelled after two episodes on September 22 after disastrous ratings and critical drubbing.” The Head Cases cast is full of recognizable names — or at least it had Chris O’Donnell and the Adam Goldberg who didn’t create The Goldbergs — but the premise — about a lawyer who had a nervous breakdown being paired with another attorney with a manic personality — failed to catch on with viewers.
2006-07: Smith (three episodes)
Ray Liotta is a paper-cup salesman who… do you need more than that? It’s Henry Hill in a paper-cup factory! There is more, though: The paper cups are a front for Liotta’s real job as professional guy-who-heists-things. The double-identity thriller wasn’t as bad as many of the other shows on this list, but it failed to stand out; Smith was middle-of-the-road boring, and no amount of “big scores” could make up for its paper-cup-thin characterization.
2007-08: Viva Laughlin (one episode)
Viva Laughlin is spoken of in the same hushed tones as Cop Rock. It’s a fantastical disaster; an expensive, tone-deaf musical starring Hugh Jackman as a Nevada casino owner. Not unlike Coupling, it was based on a beloved British series, the kitschy Viva Blackpool, but kept none of the original’s creativity or wit. It’s an unwatchable, yet also, weirdly, a must-see train wreck.
2008-09: Do Not Disturb (three episodes)
Niecy Nash, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Dave Franco, and Kangaroo Jack‘s Jerry O’Connell asked not to be disturbed in this uninspired comedy about a New York hotel. Viewers listened; it was vacated after three episodes.
2009-10: Hank (five episodes)
Kelsey Grammer starred in two of the most popular sitcoms of all-time in Cheers and Frasier, not to mention his recurring role on The Simpsons as Sideshow Bob. He’s also won five Emmys and three Golden Globes, including one for his work on Boss. And yet, he was also the titular Hank on this misguided so-called comedy. Grammer played a former Wall Street executive, and that’s all viewers needed to know; there was no sympathy to be had. Not that Hank had time to earn it. The show was wiped off the face of the Earth after five episodes.
2010-11: Lone Star (two episodes)
Kyle Killen’s Lone Star is by far the best first-axed series here, and one of the most disappointing “canceled before its time” series in recent memory. The cast, made up of a pre-Mad Men James Wolk and Adrianne Palicki, was sound; the premise (a con man living a double life) was intriguing; and it could have lasted for seasons without running out of creative steam. Unfortunately, Lone Star was too smart for most viewers, and Fox bid it farewell after only two excellent episodes. Bob Benson himself still remembers it fondly, though, saying, “It was heartbreaking to find out that you can have the best reviews in the world and be touted as the ‘Next Big Show,’ but still last only two episodes. I learned to be humble and enjoy the creative process.”
2011-12: The Playboy Club (three episodes)
It was Mad Men meets centerfolds. The Playboy Club should’ve been a huge hit; having Amber Heard should certainly have helped. But the final product was surprisingly boring, and it’s hard to be seductive on a primetime drama. Or as we wrote at the time, “Not that TV execs ever learn lessons from their mistakes, but if they did, the lesson here would be that if you’re going to make a show with a sexy premise, it should ACTUALLY BE SEXY.”
The Playboy Club was anything but.
2012-13: Made in Jersey (two episodes)
A woman raised in a blue-collar Jersey family gets a job at law firm in New York City. What happens next… won’t surprise you, because Made in Jersey, despite a winning performance from Janet Montgomery (who now does fine on Salem), was thrown out of court after only two episodes.
2013-14: Lucky 7 (two episodes)
Lucky 7 practically wrote its own cancellation notice: “Unlucky 7 Gone After Only Two Episodes.” The Queens-set lottery drama, starring Azula from The Last Airbender movie, was no scratch, all sniff, and it didn’t smell good.
2014-15: Manhattan Love Story (two episodes)
Manhattan Love Story was supposed to be an appealing meet-cute between an adorable woman and a handsome man. Instead, it was an annoying and cloying look at young love. Think Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, if they were both self-satisfied New Yorkers who deserved each other because they’re unlikable and tedious people. Two episodes was two too many.