Basically Everyone Has STDs Now According To A New Report, And Here’s Why

Ready for some vital information for your everyday life? Good, because today’s news isn’t happy: According to new numbers, the rates of sexually transmitted diseases and infections in the United States aren’t going down; no they’re climbing peaks that they’ve never dared before. And who’s to blame for all of the stuff crawling all over the genitals of Americans in every state? It’s a lack of education and resources. And Tinder. Always blame Tinder.

News of this phenomenon is very timely, considering Charlie Sheen’s recent announcement that he’s HIV-positive. Here’s a rundown of what’s on the rise, via Bro Bible:

For the first time since 2006, cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis have gone up. And don’t get me started on chlamydia. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 1.4 million cases were reported in 2014, a 2.8 percent increase in cases from 2013. That is the highest number of annual cases of any disease ever reported to CDC. That’s more than the early 1900s when measles was running rampant and they thought the cure was to give them liquid cocaine and a pat on the back because they didn’t have a vaccine yet.

First of all, liquid cocaine sounds like a hell of a cure. Second of all, what is everyone doing? Liquid cocaine??? This uptick in infection could have something to do with the current Tinder/Grindr/OkCupid revolution because it seems to be affecting young adults who are just smashing for the first time, as opposed to the olds (who’ve been doing sex a lot). According to NBC News, people also seem to be using condoms a lot less.

The CDC has noticed several markers in the spike of diseases being reported. One of them, unfortunately, has a lot to do with a lack of funding for clinics and STD care:

“Most recently, there have been significant erosions of state and local STD control programs,” [CDC’s Dr. Gail] Bolan said. “Most people don’t recognize that the direct clinical care of individuals with sexually transmitted diseases is supported by state and local funds and federal funds.”

And:

“In one year 7 percent of local health departments said they closed their STD clinics,” Bolan said. And 43 percent said they had to cut back on the hours they could stay open. About a third had to raise fees and co-pays, something that’s been shown to keep some people away.

Now that we know for sure that young people aren’t just going to stop having sex, maybe it’s time we invested more money into giving them the tools necessary to do so safely.

(Via Bro Bible, NBC News)