Sorry, That Glorious Fyre Fest Cheese Sandwich Was Fake News

If you’ve spent the past four days reveling in the complete and utter failure that was Fyre Fest, we have some terrible news. Don’t worry, it’s not that the festival was a success. If you’ve been feasting on schadenfreude and the tears of rich kids who don’t know any better, you don’t have to stop completely. But you do have to stop sharing that viral pictures of the cheese sandwich that the festival attendees claimed to have received as their “gourmet meal.” Because guess what, it turns out all of that was #FakeNews.

According to Munchies, the sandwich (seen above and lampooned everywhere), actually does exist, but it was never served to the festival-goers. That’s because it was never meant for attendees. Yes, the people who paid anywhere between $450 and $12,000 to see Blink 182 and maybe catch a glimpse of Bella Hadid had been tricked. But, apparently, not by the food. Because the sandwich that was mocked around the world was actually meant for festival employees.

Of course, we could go on and on about how even staff deserves better — and they do — but it turns out that the multitudes of people demanding they be airlifted off the island and to the nearest trauma center may have over-exaggerated the horror just a little bit.

In fact, TMZ reports (in a shocking new development) (yes, we just referred to news about a sandwich as a “shocking new development”) that guests who were on the island were actually treated to much more luxurious fare.

From TMZ:

We’re told guests were served chicken, pasta, burgers and fries and salad … not just a gnarly cheese sandwich. As for breakfast … donuts, waffles and coffee.

What’s more: It turns out that that whole story about the Fyre Festival being a literal tent city right out of SyFy’s next Sharknado movie was also overblown. Those tents, apparently, were part of the low-level accommodations available, and those who shelled out more dough were actually staying somewhere far more luxurious:

People who attended the festival tell us quite a few people were actually staying in villas near the campsite … the tents were low-end accommodations. And, we’re told, the people who rented villas had access to speedboats.

Could the festival had done better? Absolutely. It was, by all accounts, a miserable failure that sounds like one of the more manageable circles of hell. But if we’re going to do anything about its horrors, it’s important that we get the facts right. And the facts are these: The festival was a shitshow; Blink 182 didn’t perform; and no Fyre Festival attendee was presented with the sandwich above. We can hold all of these truths at the same time and still make fun of the worst weekend that anyone has ever had. And we can all look forward to the Law & Order episode that this event will inspire.