Twitter Users Point Out The Warning Signs That ‘He’s Not Your Man’

https://twitter.com/rachel/status/1066189521941860353

A certain type of preachy advice format is being repurposed for sarcastic jokes on Twitter this week. The format started with the phrase, “Ladies, if he…” followed by a list of arguably negative character traits like “doesn’t like every one of your social media posts” and concluding with the verdict that those attributes mean “he is not your man.”

The format was quickly picked up by jokers using the format to declare who else isn’t your man, including historical figures, inanimate objects, fictional characters, and even Microsoft’s beloved and loathed mascot, Clippy. It’s too bad Clippy isn’t our man; he (he?) is exceedingly sexy, if the Amazon erotica is to be believed. (Editorial note: do not believe Amazon erotica. You will try to grind up on Bigfoot or a symbiote and then you’ll die.)

But it wasn’t just sexy, saucy Clippy who was being disqualified from “your man” status. People also applied the format to other brand mascots who are definitely not your man:

https://twitter.com/alisonguzzetti/status/1066362763138740227

There were also plenty of music references:

https://twitter.com/rcsanchez93/status/1066864638279778305

Many people on Twitter waxed historical:

https://twitter.com/0pxj0/status/1066370087542841345
https://twitter.com/ronnyravegan/status/1066355886891851776

https://twitter.com/ragsoflove/status/1065960788073070593

https://twitter.com/resentfultweet/status/1067159558701772800

TV characters were also a popular source of humor:

And movie characters were also not your man:

https://twitter.com/NOTVIKING/status/1066805478972248064
https://twitter.com/TeawithTolkien/status/1066165274301353984

https://twitter.com/PhilNobileJr/status/1067103576030396417

People even looked to sports to find guys who aren’t your man, in this case Carmelo Anthony of the (well, not anymore) Houston Rockets:

https://twitter.com/nitzbluv/status/1067252825439129605

Others reminded us that reading is fundamental:

https://twitter.com/HalpernAlex/status/1066752886053527553

And many people got particularly creative about who your man isn’t.

https://twitter.com/jdl_werewolf/status/1066760257991409664

https://twitter.com/roxiqt/status/1066128565391962112

(Hat tip to The Mary Sue)