Weekend Movie Guide: Disney Vs. Old West Poop Jokes, Who Ya Got?

Opening Everywhere: A Million Ways to Die in the West, Maleficent

Opening Somewhere: Filth, Night Moves, The Hornet’s Nest

FilmDrunk Suggests: Vince saw A Million Ways to Die in the West and reviewed it. I saw a commercial in which a critic whose name I don’t give a rat’s ass about claims that this movie is the best comedic Western ever made. Sure, critic dude. Sure. Suuuuuuuuuuuuure. It was probably Pete Hammond.

A Million Ways to Die in the West

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 34% critics, 57% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

But for all its hit-and-miss jokes, there are lots of ways to die laughing at this Western raunchfest. – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

Some of the gags do land – maybe one in four. But the genre-parody genre with big stars and poop jokes needs a little more class than MacFarlane is capable of providing. – David Edelstein, Vulture

Armchair Analysis: I haven’t read Vince’s review, but I think this movie looks pretty funny. It certainly has a good enough cast, and I’d let Charlize Theron order me to drink bleach from a boot. But there’s just something about Seth MacFarlane that rubs me the wrong way. It’s probably the giant pile of cash that Fox gave him to sleep on.

Maleficent

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 48% critics, 74% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Long live the feminist revisionist backstory. – Kate Taylor, Globe and Mail

In the blood-red lipstick and midnight-black gown and cowl of her Sleeping Beauty antecedent, Jolie’s Maleficent is magnificent. – Steven Rea, Philadelphia Inquirer

Armchair Analysis: Edgy new takes on classic fairy tales? Well, this is something I thought I’d never see.

Filth

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 68% critics, 73% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Viewers hungry for a catch-all dose of Welshian sardonicism would be better served checking out Trainspotting. Better soundtrack, for one. – John Semley, Globe and Mail

Unlike Jude Law’s similarly offensive title character in Dom Hemingway, McAvoy is given a far better story to work from. – Linda Barnard, Toronto Star

Armchair Analysis: Plenty of people have told me now that what looks like a dashing, fun romp filled with bad police work and hardcore drugs is actually a very dark and depressing movie. Bring the kids!

Night Moves

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 77% critics, 55% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Night Moves” is a serious film, and certainly more thoughtful one than another recent eco-thriller, the gimmicky “The East.” Yet it remains – especially for Reichardt – an oddly uninvolving one. – Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger

“Night Moves” has a sure-handedness that shows Reichardt is still growing as a filmmaker. – Jake Coyle, AP

Armchair Analysis: Jesse Eisenberg looking really serious and intense? That’s a first.

The Hornet’s Nest

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 89% critics, 92% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Mr. Boettcher knew those men, puts faces to their names. As he says, every soldier’s story is different, and they all bear telling. – Daniel M. Gold, New York Times

“The Hornet’s Nest” is a kinetic, immersive experience, particularly in its deeply felt human moments. – Gary Goldstein, Los Angeles Times

Armchair Analysis: Call me a hippie, but I’d rather watch a movie made from clips of soldiers coming home. Preferably with the responses of their children and pets.