Jurassic World promises to be pretty weird, as it essentially features Maude Lebowski and Burt Macklin, FBI, running around a park straight out of a survival horror game. But in theory, this is an actual attraction full of dinosaurs, and it even has a sponsor-laden brochure to go with it. Mild spoilers below.
Posted to Twitter and Reddit, the image series opens with the cover of the brochure, and the whole thing is pretty dryly funny. A few highlights:
It’s the disclaimer at the end of both of these that really makes it. So, you’re saying, small children might not enjoy seeing livestock get ripped apart? Then there’s this tidbit:
Somehow, we think the handicapped accessibility is going to be plot-relevant. Please, please, please let this include a reenactment of this, but with dinosaurs. Also interesting is that it hints there are more than just dinosaurs on the island, which might explain where the weird-ass kaiju comes from. Those hints continue, along with the revelation of a bizarre guest host:
Yep, Jimmy Fallon will be in this movie, apparently, if only for a few minutes, or possibly with his visage ripped apart by velociraptors.
The full image series is worth a look not least because it’s full of hints about what we’ll see in the movie without telling us too much. Suffice to say, there will be threats from land, sea, and air, and probably a T. Rex on a golf course. Really, all that needs to happen is the two precious children the movie have cast get eaten before the first act is up, and we’ve got ourselves a classic.