You’re probably much too busy partying with hot babes and doing important cancer research to remember everything I write, but back in 2012, I told you about German former MTV VJ Charlotte Roche and her book Wetlands, a fairly risqué tome about an 18-year-old girl who’s in the hospital with a festering shaving wound on her anus, who goes on to have all sorts of impure thoughts about rubbing her genitals on toilet seats and eating her own scabs and smegma. It turns out, a lot of Germans identified with that. It’s basically the Scrotie McBoogerballs book from South Park (probably my favorite episode, incidentally), and now it’s also a movie starring Carla Juri.
Just one more blockquote to whet your appetite before you watch the trailer:
Unabashed in her exploratory pursuit of pleasure, Helen engages in several sex romps: one with an anonymous food-stand patron, another with some food itself. (Cucumbers are a decent masturbatory aid, though nothing compares to a carrot). Helen has to put the hookups on hold, however, when she ends up in the hospital after an anal injury incurred from shaving. There she meets a cute male nurse who’s intrigued by her predilection for perversity, and things take a surprisingly sweet turn between the two of them … while still remaining super gross, of course. [Vulture]
Amazingly, the trailer itself doesn’t contain any actual nudity.
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As it happens, “gleefully vulgar” happens to be my particular wheelhouse. And I’ve always wanted to meet a nice 18-year-old girl with whom I could bond over anal fissures (“do you use flushable wet wipes also, or do you find the alcohol in them dries you out?”). Wetlands hits New York September 5th before a platform release.
Germans, man. Is there any other culture that’s so into poop? Or Teva sandals?