Technology

Microsoft’s #HowOldRobot Facial Recognition Technology Is Here And So Are The Jokes About Its Failings

Let’s not burden ourselves with questions about why Microsoft has internet robots that are working diligently to determine our age, sex, and humanness through our photographs on the innocent sounding How-Old.net, let’s instead focus on the fun that we all had while laughing at the sometimes wonky (but still in development) web program’s facial recognition skills, cool to the fact that it is merely calibrating and/or lulling us into a LOLZ state and a false sense of selfie-security before the insurrection.

With that in mind, here’s a look at some of the funniest Twitter reactions to the momentary fixation that is #HowOldRobot and a few experiments of our own.

Highlander

Apparently, #HowOldRobot can sense an immortal. NBD.

Keith Richards

https://twitter.com/gabrielgironda/status/593853440746459138

Like I said, it can detect an immortal.

The Face on Mars

A runaway popularity train that was originally only supposed to be open to about 50 people, the #HowOldRobot now finds itself answering big questions like, “are we alone?” I’m not sure that I trust it’s answer.

The Vice Versa Test

While the facial recognition software may be able to identify objects in space, it apparently can’t tell when a father and son have switched bodies. Others may call this the Like Father Like Son test, but I stand by my choice of labels and test subjects.

Cyberman

It also can’t recognize the face of another robot, which is a bit shady and unbelievable.

Stay Puft 

https://twitter.com/staypuft/status/593876278689673216

Then again, #HowOldRobot also can’t identify a 100-foot-tall marshmallow man with a sailor hat on, so maybe the wrinkles in the algorithm are legit.

The Evolution Of Stephen Colbert

And look at this: the tech is completely flustered by Stephen Colbert’s awesome beard. Clockwise from lower-left, the images are from Colbert’s first Colbert Report (when he was 40), around the time he ended his show in December (age 50), Mindy Kaling’s tweet from when Colbert filmed a guest spot on The Mindy Project, and a picture he posted to twitter last night. By the way, I’m going to miss David Letterman, but we really need to get Stephen Colbert back to work. And he needs to rock the demented ship captain look when he goes back.

Sir Ian McKellen

Starting to feel better about #HowOldRobot’s wildly inacurate assessment of you?

Madonna 

All due respect to Madonna, who looks great, but she’s not 27. Go home #HowOldRobot, you’re drunk.