Breaking news out of Evansville, Indiana: MEAT HEIST. The most Indiana of heists!
Theft at Save-A-Lot – 500 E Diamond Ave. Female suspect stole meat & dish washing liquid. She put the items in her big pink purse. #ewatch
— EvansvilleWatch (@EvansvilleWatch) May 6, 2015
Update: Female theft suspect gave her meat filled big pink purse to a male and they walked separate ways. #ewatch
— EvansvilleWatch (@EvansvilleWatch) May 6, 2015
Kudos to the social media person for @EvansvilleWatch for the phrase “meat filled big pink purse.” I mean… yeah. Tip of the ol’ cap on that one, sir or ma’am.
As our own Ashley Burns pointed out when this story hit the Uproxx chat room, these tweets are even better if you picture the briefcase scene from The Thomas Crown Affair while you read them, complete with the claps and tinkling pianos of Nina Simone’s “Sinnerman.” And speaking of The Thomas Crown Affair and meat heists…
The Thomas Browned Affair
The Great Escapilcola
The Italian Sub Job
The Ham That Rocks the Cradle
Cool Ham Luke
Oink Break
The Usual Coldcuts
The Steaking of Pelham 1 2 3
Steak the Money and Run
Take the Mustard and Run
Steak the Mustard and Run
A Whitefish Salad Sandwich Called Wanda
Lock Stock And Two Smoking Briskets
The French Dip Connection
Ocean’s 11-Inch Hoagie
Ocean’s Footlong (get it bc a foot is 12)
Insubtiom
Grilled Lamb Sandwich with Entrapmint Jelly
The Great Muppet Caper
(Muppets can be meat.)
(We’re so sorry.)
Thanks to @indydandark for the tip