Last week at Comic-Con, I did some work in the Limitless lounge, where aside from providing free Wifi, they were absolutely making it RAIN with Limitless DVDs. And God knows, if there’s one thing I’d like to stuff in my G-String, it’s Bradley Cooper’s face. So this week, I’ve got a DVD for the winner. THE DRUGS, THEY MAKE BRADLEY COOPER SMARTER!
One quick note on Comments of the Week and the nominating process: In the past, the way this has worked is, you nominate the comments you think are CotW-worthy by copy-pasting them in the comments section of the most recent Comments of the Week post (i.e., for next week’s CotW, you would nominate in the comments section below). We lost the dedicated Comments of the Week link in the redesign, and we’re trying to get that back (along with a Latest Comments link), but in the meantime, you can always either bookmark this post, or find it at the bottom of the Morning Links posts, where I put a Comments of the Week link every morning. Got it? Good. And if you’ve never commented before, don’t be afraid to jump in. We like funny, but an honest opinion is valuable too. Just don’t be an idiot, this isn’t YouTube.
And now for the winner. I love a running joke, and Chareth Cutestory has been hating Kevin Smith for so long (even coining the phrase “jorts-ensconced taint enthusiast”), that at this point, it almost doesn’t even matter what he says. The relentless of his hatred itself has become the joke. I guess. Look, the point is, this made me laugh. From Red State Looks Actiony:
Chareth Cutestory says: I heard Kevin Smith discovered Dutch angles only after the camera crane buckled.
YOUR OCCASIONALLY CHARMING INTERVIEWS DON’T IMPRESS ME, YOU PORTLY DILETTANTE!
So thanks, Chareth, now send me your address. Honorable mentions below the fold.
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From “Owner of a Killer Bear Chokes to Death on Sex Toy” (yes, that was an actual headline).
Chino Moreno says: Sounds like he was bi-polar.
Stinky Peet says: A police spokesman removed his sunglasses and described the scene as “grizzly”.
spazmodic: “Hey Mazzola, you into some kinky-ass stuff or what?”
“Does a bear sh*t on my chest?”Ace Rimmer says: That’s such a sensationalist headline. The correct term is ‘Africanized honey bear’.
From George Clooney’s Political Drama Makes Baby Goose Sad:
ChinoMoreno: Hey, girl. If I get anything on your dress, I promise to take it to the cleaners.
Patty Boots: Hey girl, I need your help to end this cuddle deficit.
Crapbasket: Hey girl! I had to teach myself to frown by imagining that hugs had never been invented.
Patty Boots: Hey girl, that tea party really wasn’t what I thought it would be.
ChinoMoreno: Hey, girl. You’ll always be my first lady.
From Battleship Trailer Opens with Brooklyn Deckers Big Ol’ Bewbs, Goes Downhill from There:
ChinoMoreno says: Rihanna is playing the pirate Blackeye.
ChinoMoreno says: Welcome to surf.
Larry says: “Let the bodies hit the ocean floor!” –Gigantic Drowning Pool
Rapax says: Phew thank god, I can never get enough of movies involving aliens, robots and the military. Please, please make more of these movies, I don’t care if you have a story or a plausible premise, just find more reasons to show aliens, robots and the military. Thank you.
From New Year’s Eve Must Be Stopped:
superorgy says: Orale, I wouldn’t mind putting the verga in Sofia Vergara! jew know homes?
Aw, you know I have a weakness for cholo slang.
From Comic-Con Photo Diary Part One (in which I discuss trying to ask Channing Tatum a question):
Burnsy: In fairness, if it had been me asking C-Tates a question, it would have featured uncontrollable laughter followed by, “Aw snap, I pissed my draws.”
From One of the Bootleg Trailers for Amazing Spider-Man:
Fek’lhr says:
Pic 1: “Hey Gwen, wanna go out for some organic Ethiopian blend medium dark roast espresso at the co-op?”
“Get lost, Peter.”
“Oh…can you hold this web as I walk away?”
From Ron Howard Leaves Dark Tower to do Mormon Exposé:
Fek’lhr says: F*ck, you should see what Mormons do with frozen sparkling dildos!
[three comments later]
Fek’lhr says: They f*ck ‘em!
Fek’lhr, FilmDrunk’s favorite third-person speaking Klingon, brings an enthusiasm that is matched by few. Anyway, here’s to another week of procrastinating and entertaining each other. DRUNK ON!