21 Jump Street Is Adding Star Power

We’ve known for quite some time now that Jonah Hill has co-written a movie version of 21 Jump Street, which will star him and (MY BOI!) Channing Tatum as the undercover cops who infiltrate a high school as students to bust up a drug ring. Tatum previously referred to the script as “redeezy fo sheezey my burns-neezy!” but now we know the full extent of acting talent that we’ll be dealing with.

According to Indie Wire *flips scarf*…

The project might have lost Emma Stone, who was originally intended to take the female lead, but it’s a promising line-up otherwise: Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are in the leads, with Hill on co-writing duties with “Scott Pilgrim” scribe Michael Bacall, while Ice Cube, Rob Riggle, Brie Larson and James Franco‘s little brother Dave round out the cast, and Depp is widely expected to make some kind of cameo. Most excitingly of all, Phil Lord and Chris Miller, who were behind the really excellent animated film “Cloudy With Chance of Meatballs,” are directing (the principle reason we’re expecting something a little better than the average). Now, word’s come in that one of our favorite rising comedic actors is also getting involved.

And then they go on to praise Jake Johnson, who just signed on, for his work in Paper Hearts while calling him annoying in No Strings Attached, which means nothing to me. What I do care about… Channing Tatum. Ice Cube. Together. FINALLY! Maybe they could even fulfill my dream of a collaborative remake of Straight Out of Compton…

Ice Cube: “Yo C-Tates.”

C-Tates: “What up, Cube?”

Ice Cube: “Tell ‘em where you from.”

“Straight outta Cullman, crazy mother*cker named C-Tates!
Burned my d*ck in a wetsuit, now I can’ts masturbates.
But dat sh*t don’t matter, got my boo to make me better.
Bitch brings me aloe vera and she wears my Sean John sweater.
Yo turn my mic up, son! I need more bass… WHAT!
Yo girl, my name is C-Tates and yo daddy’s gonna hates, cuz I’mma mutha f*cka make yo mama’s period late.
I’mma a save da rec center, then yo ass I’m gonna enter and I’mma make a baby wrapped up in a placenter.
Yo sister’s titties look fine when she’s sippin’ on some wine and later on I’m gonna get her in a hella 69.
Yo Nick Cannon, tell us where u from!”