FilmDrunk

A Horrifying, Ginger-Face Johnny Depp Plays Whitey Bulger In The Trailer For ‘Black Mass’

We’ve already gotten a film about Boston mob king Whitey Bulger in everything but name (The Departed), so why not do the real thing? Johnny Depp plays Bulger in Black Mass, from Out of the Furnace director Scott Cooper (hopefully this will be better than that turd). People are hoping this will be Johnny Depp’s return to respected actor from the land of baubles and hammy mugging, and maybe it will. But at the moment, all I can focus on is how terrifying Johnny Depp looks as a bald old ginger. EH TONY, I THINK DIS MICK IS A FUGAZI. Those contact lenses really help with that “Dead-Eyed Psycho” look though.

The twist as that he was actually a rat the whole time.

In 1970s South Boston, FBI Agent John Connolly (Joel Edgerton) persuades Irish mobster James “Whitey” Bulger (Johnny Depp) to collaborate with the FBI and eliminate a common enemy: the Italian mob. The drama tells the true story of this unholy alliance, which spiraled out of control, allowing Whitey to evade law enforcement, consolidate power, and become one of the most ruthless and powerful gangsters in Boston history.

Phew, it’s about time someone finally made a movie about Irish gangsters. OWAH MAWBSTAHS AH MOAH MURDEROUS THAN YOAH MAWBSTAHS! SNITCHIN DON’T COUNT IF YOU ONLY RAT ON WAWPS, GO SAWX. *cuts informant’s ear off while “Sweet Caroline” plays*

BAWSTON STRAWNG, CAWKSUCKAH! *Mark Wahlberg assaults Vietnamese man*

Opens September 18th.

[HD version available at Apple]

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