Academy responds to Haim snub with prickish form letter

I try to keep my site a moral outrage and righteous indignation-free zone, but I can’t keep from pointing out that the Academy are being huge dicks about this Corey Haim thing.  People were upset when Haim was left off the SAG Awards In Memoriam segment, which gave the Academy a whole month to add two stills of Haim from Lucas and Lost Boys that they could throw onscreen for two seconds while Celine Dion sang her obnoxious song and keep everyone happy.  But instead they left him out, while honoring Ronni Chasen (a publicist) and airing Halle Berry’s 10-minute tribute to Lena Horne (OOOOH LOOK HOW INCLUSIVE AND DIVERSE YOU ARE, ACADEMY! YOUR LACK OF BLACK NOMINEES THIS YEAR IS TOTALLY FORGIVEN!).  Which leads us to another exciting installment of: Corey Feldman, Unlikely Voice of Reason.

Feldman tells us, “Corey [Haim]’s films have earned the industry over a half a billion dollars and his work remains an inspiration to young artists world wide… Corey dedicated his life to the film industry. The same industry that failed to dedicate even 30 seconds to his memory.”

The Feldster might have gotten a little carried away with the inspiration to young artists bit, but other than that, he’s completely right.  How say you, Academy (specifically, producers Don Mischer and Bruce Cohen)?  Heartfelt apology?  Fake apology, even?

For their part, the Academy released a statement that reads: “Whatever the length of the sequence, there will always be fans and family members of those not included who will be disappointed by their omission. The Academy extends its understanding and its apologies to those who missed seeing a favorite face in this year’s feature.” [TMZ]

Ouch, form letter.  Well f*ck you very much too, you shriveled, stutter-loving c*cksuckers.  I guess The Academy is your cable provider now.  There’s nothing like pointing out a wrong and then having the offending party respond with a vague non-apology addressed to a nebulous third party.  It’s even worse than a disingenuous apology because you can sense them typing it with one hand while they wank dismissively with the other.  “Oh, sorry if we kept you from banging your ugly wives, trolls, but do the math: we can’t include every loser in our gnarly segment, duh. WINNING.”

I hereby sentence the Academy to watch every episode of The Coreys.