Baby seal pulls a Rip Torn, breaks into house, sleeps on couch

Now, I know this isn’t strictly movie-related, but if you think I’m passing up an opportunity to post a baby seal asleep on a couch, you don’t know me at all. Taking a page from that fur seal pups often get lost and disoriented while their mothers spend days away foraging for food, and sometimes wander inland, winding up in strange places such as backyards, drains and streets. Many of those end up promptly falling asleep, because New Zealand is so f*cking boring.

“I was in my office and I heard an awful racket down below… I thought the cats have brought a rabbit or something in so I went down and had a look – and there’s a seal in my kitchen. “I thought ‘I’m hallucinating, this is just wrong’.”

Stunned, Ms Swoffer called a friend who lives in a unit at the same property to come and verify what she was seeing.

“I’m looking and I’m definitely seeing flippers and not paws.”

Another victory for the New Zealand public school system.

Calmly, the young pup then eased past Ms Swoffer’s dog and cats before making himself at home on a couch and attempting to snuggle in for the night.
“Then it looks at me with those huge brown eyes. It was so cute, but I didn’t touch it because you don’t with wild animals.” Ms Swoffer called the SPCA.

And now for my favorite part of the story…

At Ms Swoffer’s home, the seal was put in a net and box but as it was being driven away in the Doc vehicle, it escaped and made its way up to the front of the vehicle, accidentally turning on the radio and ending up on the front seat. [NewZealandHerald]

THE SEAL TRIED TO CRANK UP THE MUSIC! Forget releasing him into the wild, throw some sunglasses on that seal and hand him a skateboard, and you’ve got yourself the next Marmaduke! That does it, I’m putting on my finest business suit and heading to New Zealand to provide this brash young seal the representation it needs. All I ask is fifteen percent of all krill and herring in perpetuity, to be stored in my briefcase and front pocket.