Filming for Quentin Tarantino’s highly-anticipated and bizarrely-marketed new Western, The Hateful Eight, is set to begin in Colorado in January, and that had us assuming that the cast was set. Tarantino regulars Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Madsen and Tm Roth were joined by Bruce Dern, Kurt Russell and Walton Goggins, most of whom were part of that whole script leak mess, while Jennifer Jason Leigh was recently cast in the female lead, putting a lot of rumors six feet under. But now, just as Jennifer Lawrence was reportedly once snooping around that lead role that she clearly had no time for, Deadline’s Mike Fleming Jr. claims that another hot young actor wants in. Yo, he’s talkin’ ‘bout our boy Channing Tatum.
Fleming writes that Tatum, AKA C-Tates, AKA The Hardest Twerkin’ Playboi in $how Bizna$$$ty, is “circling a major role,” but there’s very little else to this story other than, “Hey, we heard this budding A-lister wants the role of a lifetime in a guaranteed hit.” But that’s not how our HOTT GOSS works, as loyal readers know. So I rolled up my sleeves and unlatched one of the buttons on my overalls and reached out to our good friend C-Tates for the first time in a long time, and he not only exclusively confirmed to me that he’s interested – “Yo, sh*t’s legit” – but he gave me a copy of the exact letter that he sent to Tarantino to ask for this opportunity.
Dear Mr. Quizno’s Subs n Pulp Fizzniction movie man,
I said a 1, 2, 3 and 2 da 7, yo u let me in yo movie and I be flyin’ high in heaven. Put me in dat Hater 8 n I B all, Yo Old West, y u gots dust on my Jordans. BOOM BAM POW! Check it, Q 2 da T, u like feet, right? My girl Jenna D-1 D-Tates has some fly booties, u can drink Hennessy straight off dem toes. Ain’t no shame, put C-Tates in yo game n I’mma make dat hater’s ball look like Rollerball (but mad respek 2 LL, right?). I had dis mad idea 2, yo. What if like my cowplayboy B like mad fly, n dat Jenny Jason Lee boo B like, DAMN C-TATES, Y U SO FLY? N I hold my gun sideways cuz ain’t no one in da old west side ever do dat sh*t B4, heard? MAD F*CKIN OSCARS SON. Yo, email back at CTATES69PUFFDATJOINT420ALLDAY@aol.com.
P.S. – Yo, I tried cocaine before, so I gets u, son.