Channing Tatum Was Honored By The New York Times, Apocalypse Still On Track For Dec. 21

New York Times chief film critic A.O. Scott, which I choose to believe stands for Artichoke Octagon, is among the first of journalism’s heavy hitters acting as the clap to break the eventual avalanche of year-end filler stories and lists (including my very own UPROXX Persons of the Year and Worst Movies of 2012). Scott’s main piece – which is so big that it even warranted the Times interviewing its own writer about it – focuses on the rise of the “Hollywood Heroine”, as he believes that 2012 was a particularly strong year for powerful female characters, including Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman and Scarlett Johannsson’s Black Widow, among others.

But Scott also purchased himself a seat on the Channing Tatum A-List bandwagon, which Vince and I take full credit for now that his stock is through the roof, and the N.Y. Times magazine is calling our boy C-Tates one of this year’s Memorable Men. That’s not quite as big as GQ naming him the Movie Star of the Year, and it’s certainly not as monumental as People dubbing him the Sexiest Man Alive, but it’s still nice that this year’s $500 million man is being noticed for his acting.

Haha, just kidding, it’s about his abs.

People magazine raised an Internet ruckus when it named Channing Tatum the Sexiest Man Alive. Buzzfeed went all Team Gosling, and Slate, ever contrarian, managed to publish cleverly argued pieces on both sides of the issue.

Adding, “And Buzzfeed was all like, Here are 50 cats who are upset about Gosling being snubbed, and Slate was all like, Whatever bros, contrarian arguments with big words rule, okay?”

This is not a matter that can be easily settled, since sexiness is of course in the pheromones of the beholder. But it is surely obvious — even objectively provable — that Tatum, with his reversible name and his box-office potency, is the leading Sex Symbol of our times. He is the male Marilyn Monroe.

Basically, Scott’s tribute to C-Tates is a giant back-handed slap, as he ultimately writes that the star of three films that grossed more than $100 million each in 2012 – 21 Jump Street, The Vow and Magic Mike – can’t act. Of course, if you watched The Vow – Spoiler: It’s on my Worst Movies list – then you’ll agree with Scott, but we still believe that Tatum took a huge Harlem shuffle forward with his performances in 21 Jump Street and especially Magic Mike.

This probably isn’t the last honor that Tatum will receive for his efforts in 2012, as I’m betting that he’ll take home a few People’s Choice Awards and probably some MTV honors, but all of this recognition is a nice way for him to head into his little “hiatus”. One thing is for certain, though, he won’t be winning any awards for his restaurant any time soon. Big jerk.