FilmDrunk

Comments of the Week

It’s Comments of the Week time! We had fewer nominations this week, which is disappointing, but I can’t argue with the eventual winner, Mustafa Dystrophy, for his duo of hard-to-reach puns (see below). He’s getting the FilmDrunk shirt you see above and which you can buy here, so long as you’re not a Lady’s Large or Small, ’cause I ran out of those. Yeah, where’s your jokes about how all our fans are fat dudes now, huh, smartguy? Either there plenty of lady ‘Drunkards, or the male ones have taken to putting FilmDrunk shirts on their real dolls and Japanese sex pillows. Eh, probably the second one.

From Billy Bob Thornton planning an “ethereal” movie based on his relationship with Angelina Jolie.

Mustafa Dystrophy:
Read the script, it’s a little heavy-handed.
INT. – DINER – DAY
WAITRESS: What’ll ya have?
THORNTON: Gimme a bowl ethereal.

From my review of Bullhead:

Mustafa Dystrophy: I love the scene where Jacky takes two baby cows on a merry-go-round, and the beef inspector gives him a ticket for spinning his veals.

And that, as they say, will win you a t-shirt. So send me your address, Mr. Dystrophy, and start planning your stalking of Crispin Glover. For everyone else, as always, use the comments section of this post to nominate your comments throughout the week. Honorable mentions after the jump:

From

Alcoholics Gratuitous: When Gina expressed shock that she’d be getting another shot as a leading lady after Haywire flopped, the Hollywood executive said, “You haven’t been super pretty for very long have you?”

From The Rock Hawk becomes fodder for a cock sock. I actually don’t get this joke, but it got a couple votes, so here we are.

Morton Salt:
 Dwayne your Johnson.

From Billy Bob’s Angelina movie:

porkythefirst: It’s actually not a Soul Patch, but a style Billy Bob refers to as a “Bottom Hitler.”

I got a Bottom Hitler from a prostitute once. ONCE.

From Gary Busey’s bankruptcy filing lists his collection of tambourines and Indian crap:

Jessolido: Busey carries a bow & several arrows on him at all times because “You never know when that damned Sasquatch is going to come asking for his surfboards back”

Jessolido: “That pellet gun ain’t broken, dingus, I’ve just specially modified it to dispense Pez candy. Things turn into a real laugh orgy when I pull that out on the subway”

Jaqdem: Gary to extra on set: “Umm I dont know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. Um. I’m very important. I have many pieces of random native american crap and my apartment smells of mothballs. I also have tambourines. Yes I said tambourines. That’s TWO of them sugar tits.”

Alcoholics Gratuitous: It seems like Gary Busey has spent a ton of money to live like a Native American. He’s this close to realizing that dream. All he needs to do is barter all the non tribal crap for meth and booze.

Dingus: For accuracy’s sake, those vases are ancient Egyptian canopic jars stuffed with pancakes.

Jessolido: “Injun? Naw, dummy. I gave those bowls as a gift to Reemus, the owner of the Gas & Go where I buy most of my licorice & buttermilk, but took them back when that dhangus raised the price of stamps!”

Jessolido: For accuracy’s sake, those vases are ceramic and glass- he’s just named each of them “Clay”

Ragnarok: Steven Seagal would like to know if Gary’s planning a yard sale.

Pff, Steven Seagal wouldn’t want any of Busey’s junk. There wasn’t a single ornate saddle in the bunch.

Thanks, folks, happy commenting, and remember to FilmDrink responsibly.

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