Comments of the Week is back! Why? Because I wasn’t too lazy to keep track of the funny ones this week. Sorry, you probably expected a better explanation than that. But let’s focus on the positives. I’ve got a few prizes to give away, including Lockout, starring Guy Pearce, on Blu-Ray, and some swag from Dreamzone’s Godfather, a XXX Parody. And of course, I still have
I started things off by suggesting Jay Penske’s wild night in Nantucket could make a nice “girl from Nantucket” limerick. I thought MickTravis4Life’s response was this week’s clear winner:
MickTravis4Life:
THIS RICH FACK ONCE PULLED OUT HIS CAWK
IRREGAHDLESS O’ BEIN OUT IN THE DAHK
SOME NOT-WHITE C*NT SHRIEKED
LIKE THAT QUEAH VAN DER BEEK
“THAT’S GROSS, YOU RETAHD. GO SAWX!”
Man, I wish “irregardless” could be in every parodical vernacular limerick. Come back next week for a round of Jamaican Precious haikus. Anyway, congrats, MickTravis, let me know if you want a shirt or DVD.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Same post:
Stinky Pete: Frankly, these “ladies” sound more like the subject of a “Lady from Nantucket” limerick I once heard.
I remember that one, it started, “There once was a girl from Nantucket / Whose boots looked a lot like a bucket.”Moose:
Jay: Hey Mahk!
Mark: What?
Jay: Whaddah we always say to not-white c*nts who can’t keep theah lips closed?
*together* PUT A CAWK INNIT!
What? He said “cork.” In related bad Bostonian, WB wanted Ben Affleck to direct Justice League:
MickTravis4Life: MAKE ME A FACKIN MAHTINI WITH THAT RING YOU GREEN FACKIN RETAHD.
This next one comes from R. Kelly blames his divorce on The Notebook, and it’s kind of visual:
From our live discussion with Jay Chandrasekhar and Kevin Heffernan, my favorite question:
Torgo: On the MEL scale of comedic genius how do you rate yourself? Brooks, Blanc, Gibson or Torme?
From The Saddest Boy in the World:
Digital Wonderbread: What a gyp. Nobody buttf*cked the sadboy.
What can I say, I can’t resist a well-timed Patton Oswalt reference. Or the word “buttf*ck.”
From Joss Whedon to write and direct The Avengers 2:
Jacktion: Joss Whedon is the only person I know of that shops in the “Big & Tall” section of the hat store.
It’s true, Joss Whedon is the Kenny Loggins of having a huge noggin. I don’t really know what that means either.
Now that the Red Dawn villains have been changed from China to North Korea, Good Grief has a plan for some new dialog.
Good Grief: “Let’s make Korean barbecue!!”
Bill & Ted 3 finds a director, and Ace Rimmer plans how he’s going to explain late 80s/early 90s pop culture to his kids:
Ace Rimmer: “Now this guy here, y’see, was what was known as a ‘fresh prince’: a bit of a character, but by darn he had moxie and gumption. They don’t make them like that anymore. Now settle down while I talk you through the four different versions of Footloose.”
And finally, from would-be hero gets arrested bringing guns and knives into a Dark Knight screening:
Alcoholics Gratuitous: We’re starting to put faces to all of those dicks from Chat Roulette.
TFBuckFutter: What the f*ck kind of theater lets you bring a bag in? What if he had candy in there!?
Thanks, folks. And always remember, I appreciate you even if your coworkers don’t.