Comments of the Week: Q as in Queue Edition

It’s time for the least regular weekly post on the planet: Comments of the Week. We’ve got two whole weeks to cover so siddown, secure your snacks, and remember that the only losers are Gawker commenters.

First thing’s first (I’ll eatcha brains), Samuel Feckett kept me from hanging myself after watching Wes Anderson’s tutorial on how to make a boarding school cupcake or whatever:

Samuel Feckett: I preferred Tarantino’s short film on cooking, in which he had Uma Thurman use her feet to create a McFlurry.

Revolting. Hilarious. Dairy-based. The three ingredients to all my favorite jokes (nsfw shameless self-promotion). Moving on to yet another comment that had me chortling in my Snuggie. Vince gave you a Veronica Mars Virgin’s guide to the new Veronica Mars movie, and some of you were less than impressed:

Ragnarok: When I realized this was “Nancy Drew 2004 Ten Years Later” I crammed my hand down the back of my pants to see If I gave a shit. It turns out I only give a couple hairs and some butt sweat. PM me if you’re interested.

Which reminds me, why haven’t you responded to my messages?

Then there was the trailer for The Maze Runner, a movie about a—ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz:

BurnsyFan66: It’s a literary term, a character with boobs is known as the titular character. A character with a dong is known as the protagonist character.

I spent six years in high school, I know what me talking about!

I have an English degree and roughly $9 billion in student loans and I can confirm that BurnsyFan66 is correct. But enough about me, let’s roll out the red carpet for this week’s big winner. From the news that Lindsay Lohan never forgets a famous dong:

Eibmoz: Lindsay”s vagina is so big and filled with stars that Sandra Bullock got lost in it.

Congratulations, Eibmoz. You win the exclusive rights to next week’s Comment of the Week. Everyone else, remember to keep your wits about you and nominate your favorite comments of the week in the comments section of this very thread. Next week’s winner gets reported for spam.