David Duchovny has a novel coming out tomorrow, Holy Cow, from Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and as we’ve seen time and again, there are few things more entertaining than celebrities who dabble in literature. Duchovny has a Master’s in English Lit from Yale, which should put his work on a different shelf than, say, Snooki or the chick from The Hills, but it’s a truth not often enough acknowledged that with greater brain cells comes greater potential for crazy. And Duchovny’s book certainly sounds… creative.
From Huffington Post:
…the book seems to have no real idea who its audience is or what it’s actually about (vegetarianism? religion? peace in the Middle East? the foibles of Hollywood?). [for the record, Duchovny calls himself “a very lazy vegetarian.” -Ed] Something of a mash-up between Animal Farm and “Chicken Run,” Holy Cow is the story of Elsie Bovary (yep), a milk cow on an upstate New York farm whose life changes when she learns about industrial meat farming. She hatches a plan to flee to India (where cows are sacred), and is joined by a pig headed for Israel (where pork is unclean) and a turkey headed for Turkey (he, well, hasn’t thought it through fully).
Along the way, we’re treated to excessively goofy, Pixar-esque dialogue (Elsie and her bff Mallory call everything “cray cray” and “amazeballs,” while the turkey tries on affected accents that would be far more humorous aloud), truly painful farming puns, asides about Elsie’s transparent attempts to make the book more marketable, and extended rants on animal rights. […] Even more confusing is the sharp left turn the novel takes into the religious conflicts of the Middle East — apparently there’s a meat-based solution to the centuries-long clash between the Jewish and Muslim peoples!
Hey, at least he’s not an anti-vaxxer, right?
Selfies, they call ‘em, and that makes sense ‘cause even though they’re sending these pictures to others, it still smells like selfish to me. Is that why they call it an “I phone”?
Hmm, let me get back to you on that last thing.