Edward Furlong Is Out Of Jail, Looks Great

TMZ reported yesterday that Terminator 2 actor Edward Furlong, now 35, was arrested on Tuesday for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend, and it was a confusing read at first, because I had just assumed he had been in jail this whole time for drugs or whatever, but apparently I was wrong. I blame myself for letting my subscription to Actors Who Destroyed Their Lives Before 30 Digest.

According to TMZ

Edward Furlong was released from an L.A. jail last night following his domestic violence arrest — and he looked like a harbinger of death on his way out, wearing a Halloween-appropriate skull t-shirt.

The troubled “Terminator 2” star was released around 6:30 PM on $50,000 bail.

Police are still deciding whether or not to press criminal charges, but this is Los Angeles, where actresses can run over small children, drive hammered wasted and high on cocaine and play real-life Spy Hunter on the L.A. freeways without a driver’s license, and they’ll actually be assigned someone to do community service for them. So there’s a strong chance that Furlong will receive a commendation from the mayor.

But if I can, I’d like to take a moment to talk to the ladies here for a new segment I’m calling FilmDrunk’s Female Fortune Telling (or something more clever).

Hey ladies, I know you’re lonely. Maybe you’re tired of staying up late at night, scouring Match.com and wondering when that right guy is gonna come calling and whisk you away to a life of safety and happiness. And sure, you’d love to be that gorgeous trophy on the arm of a famous actor, spending your weekends soaking in the golden sun of California. But if someone comes up to you at a party and says, “Hey, my friend Edward Furlong wants to meet you, he thinks you’re just his type”, tell that person you’re a lesbian and leave. Otherwise he will sell your dog for meth.

Also, who are the casting directors that keep hiring this dude? Unless your script calls for “Bloated Mid-30s Junkie”, I’d think about spending a little more for Frankie Muniz.